The Lacuna

At least all my maladies have cool names:

2010-08-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

This one's called Labyrinthitis. Sweet. Now here's an awesome shot:

This is inner ears, not whatever else you're thinking...

Please Please Please

2010-08-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

I'm going back to the gym tomorrow morning -- first time running again since the bad event. (Please let it not happen again!) Wish me luck, because I have to stay a runner, and I can't afford another ER visit.

Posting

2010-07-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a while, but chance caused me to stumble upon the ordinary, yet amusing blog of another twenty-something. That's all it took to get me inspired to write, at least for this post.

If you'd asked me a week ago I would've said this was an uneventful summer. That was before my major disaster of the summer (read: anaphylactic allergic reaction), and several other minor (by comparison) catastrophes. At least I have a new "most embarrassing" story. Tripping on my face in front of a cute boy can't hold a candle to being strapped to that gurney and wheeled through a crowd of onlookers by a troop of paramedics. Cute paramedics. Ugh. I, however, did NOT look cute. Anaphylaxis does not leave a lot of room for vanity. Now I have my trusty Epi-Pen, so in the future I can (hopefully) save myself. That is, if I can bring myself to stab my own thigh with that ginormous needle. My sister reassuringly pointed out that if I couldn't breathe, I probably wouldn't have to deal with a whole lot of hesitation about that.

At this point I'm looking for a little more boring in my summer. At least I have the BL camping trip coming up in a few days, while not *boring* by any means, it will definitely be a welcome distraction. There's something about not showering for three days and smelling like sweat and campfire that is surprisingly good for the soul. Not to mention that during camping you can eat as many s'mores as you want without feeling guilty. Let's see how long it takes the campers on either side of our group to request to change spaces. The first year, they got scared off after Jodi stalked around our campsite at 2 a.m. trying to finish off the last beer she needed for her "beer-can wizard staff." The second year our antics weren't so rowdy, but our failure to successfully stake the tent caused quite the midnight ruckus when it then collapsed on us in the rain. The neighbors probably weren't too impressed with all the profanities being screamed as we tried to re-establish the poles and stakes in the dark.

Only eight more weeks until school starts. Can't wait. I told my family I may want to do another degree after this one, I think they were a little less than thrilled, especially since I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I'd go back for... working was strongly suggested as an alternative. I'm just going to enjoy campus life as long as it can last.

Until next time...

Ski to Sea, etc.

2010-06-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

Blogging seems like a good idea in lieu of writing for class, which is what I should be doing right now. Who cares about customer flows any way?

Ski to Sea this weekend with the Better Lovers book club was amazing as usual. Downhill leg, which should actually be renamed "uphill hike" was fun, except for one rugged fall I took on the way down. The important part is, that even though I got a little terrified that I may die up there, and the wind was knocked out of me, I kept going! Hurrah! Everything was almost perfect.

Once my leg was over, I met up with our fearless kayaker to bring her the food she requested to be race-ready: cheese. I should've brought her a hot cocoa though so that she could have fended off the hypothermia she suffered while trying to reach shore a few hours later.

Racing is scary, but also fun and after ski to sea and the 8k I ran a few weeks ago, I think I am ready to sign up for a few more to help keep me in shape this summer. One week from tomorrow, the first year of my program will be done! I am excited, but I'll also miss my classmates during the summer. We've sort of become like one big, whining Italian family. I think I got pretty lucky to have such smart and wonderful people around me every day. They've opened my world to a myriad of new things: famous Russell Crowe lines, how to win at "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", studying via osmosis, The Economist, and a lot of TMI.

If I could stay in school forever, I just might...

More cuteness at the Woods!

2010-02-15T13:05:00.001-08:00

Oh my God I LOVE old people!

More interesting than Macroeconommics

2010-02-15T13:00:00.001-08:00

I love eavesdropping. Right now I am listening to a precious boy at Woods coffee have a phone conversation. He's talking about how, even if you feel lonely, you shouldn't settle for less than a great relationship, because you want someone "for the long haul." Sometimes boys can be surprisingly endearing.

Down with Love!

2009-12-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

A guy friend gave me the best compliment of my life yesterday - I keep thinking about it. I'm spending all my time with a guy who should've been married to someone else right now. I spent three years in a relationship that dead-ended after two. What is this romance stuff all about anyway??! How do people even commit to spending their entire lives together?

Top 5 Scariest Encounters with the Homeless of Waikiki

2009-05-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

5. The Bus Man - Riding the bus to the grocery store the other day, a tall lanky man in dirty clothes got on the bus. All of us on the bus had seen him as we approached the stop, he was standing with his eyes closed looking pained. As the bus approached he slammed both his hands against the side of it and yelled. I think we were all hoping the driver wouldn't let him on board. He got on the bus, with no notice by the driver, came to stand only five feet away from where myself and an old british couple sat. As the bus wound it's way through waikiki, and got more crowded, the man began to mumble louder and louder until he broke into a low yelling. He told us we were all whores who'd destroyed the dinosaurs and for that he hated every one of us. He said we'd better keep away because he was so mad he could just burst. The more people that crowded the bus, the angrier he got until he got so mad he shoved his way off at a random stop and went yelling down the road.

4. The Hasidic Jew - Used to coming across the occasional crazy at 4:30 in the morning as I walked to work, I didn't think twice about a man I saw a block ahead wearing what looked like a yamaka, his long side-burns and scraggly beard draped far down the front of his dingy white tunic and linen pants. What began to be unnerving was that as I approached, he stood still, facing me, directly in my path. As I got to the crosswalk that would lead me directly to him, a huge grin spread across his face, his eyes locked on mine and he began waving to me. Not an excited wave, but a slow, horror movie, mike-meyers-rises-from-the-dead-again wave. I walked slowly around him, and he rotated as I walked past. He followed me, silently waving, all the rest of the two blocks to work that day.

3. The Crack Head - On my way to work at 4:45 am, I furtively rounded my usual corner only to walk straight into the path of what looked to be a man about my age, sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, shaking. He saw me, and that's when the screaming started. Wordless, high-pitched, blood-curddling, screaming. I tried to walk past as quickly as possible, but his shakes got worse and the screams began to turn into threats. As I scurried past I could hear the sound of feet stomping on the pavement behind me, scared, I began to run. A block ahead, I looked over my shoulder to see that he was still seated, slamming his feet and fists against the ground and snarling as he stared after me. Luckily I was able to follow an early morning jogger to work the rest of the way.

2. Beardy - On my way to meet some roommates at the beach after a long night at work, I waited at the crosswalk sometime around 11 pm. Completely lost in my own thoughts, I didn't notice that a strange man had come to stand unusually close to me on the empty street corner. A low voice said, "Hello darling, how's your night?" Slowly I turned to face the stout man who was leering at me, eyes rolling, logger type beard covered in a white foam. I took a big step away from the man and said, "Fine." He stepped toward me and continued to talk about the chance of meeting me here. As I waited for the light to change he proceeded to tell me that he wondered how my feet tasted and whether or not I would object to him touching me. With the light change, I walked quickly across the street - he followed. I ran. He ran. I leapt into the nearest conveniece store, wild-eyed, panicking, and told the lady at the counter I was being followed! Totally unimpressed by this melodrama, the woman rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork at the desk. I peeked out the door, I saw him waiting. I was in the middle of frantically dialing the numbers of all the people I was supposed to be meeting when he finally walked inside. I froze. He walked up to me, said, "You're fucking insane," and continued on into the store. I went out the front and ran to the beach.

1. The Tranny - One sunny afternoon as Celina and I waited for the bus to our local overpriced mall, we were confronted by a woman in a long blue flowered dress. We'd seen the lady, sitting on the bench and talking nonsensically to herself, and had been unfazed (crazing ranting is not unusual). It wasn't until she approached us moments later as we stood chatting that I began to have concern. Most people including the homeless population in Waikiki understand the boundaries of personal space. This social queue went unnoticed by the tranny, who proceeded to assume a stance much like that of boot camp seargent, within inches of our faces she screamed, stomped her foot and cursed. Nonsensical as the ranting was, I began to cypher out some phrases like, "real woman" and "you can't fix this!" Slowly she reached down and pulled her ankle length dress up around her waist. Horrified as I already was by this woman, the realization that "she" was really a "he" and that "his" naked penis was merely inches from me makes this story the number one most creepy encounter with the homeless of my Waikiki life.

Let's Have a Poem Shall We

2009-04-23T01:31:00.001-07:00

Someone got me started thinking about poetry today. Here's one I've always liked:

Alone
By Edgar Allen Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Clap Three Times

2008-11-18T12:30:00.001-08:00

Our newest roommate Ashley arrived last Wednesday and it has been a great addition to the crew out here! On Friday night Ashley and I met up with some of my SBC coworkers at Hula Grill for Kava Tea Night. Kava is a traditional polynesian drink that was customarily consumed by Hawaiian royalty. It has mild sedative effects:

Pharmacodynamics

Effects of kavalactones include mild sedation, a slight numbing of the gums and mouth, and vivid dreams. Kava has been reported to improve cognitive performance and promote a cheerful mood. ^[6] Muscle relaxant, anaesthetic, anticonvulsive and anxiolytic effects are thought to result from direct interactions of kavalactones with voltage-gated ion channels. ^[7] Research currently suggests that kavalactones potentiate GABA_A activity but do not alter levels of dopamine and serotonin in the CNS. ^[8] Heavy, long-term kava use does not cause any reduction of ability in saccade and cognitive tests but is associated with elevated liver enzymes. ^[9]

Desmethoxyyangonin, one of the six major kavalactones, is a reversible MAO-B inhibitor (Ki 280 n M)^[10] and is able to increase dopamine levels in the nucleus accumbens. This finding might correspond to the slightly euphoric action of kava.^[11

To drink Kava, which is a cold brewed tea, you first clap once, drink the entire cup immediately and then clap three times when finished. There was a great singer at the Hula and I took a video of him singing IZ's "Over the Rainbow" but I can't figure out how to load it onto here...

I have neglected this blog

2008-10-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

I kept meaning to write in here but something always distracts me. That, and the fact that we all have to fight for internet time with our one plug in. Living in Waikiki has been a great experience so far, and I am finally beginning to adjust to the constant and almost oppressive heat (poor me). I have been working at Seattle's Best Coffee and am really liking it, the only trouble is the money: it doesn't pay as well as Cruisin and I am living in an expensive city, so I may have to look around for something a little more lucrative, and by that I mean something that pays more than $11 an hour.

I am very excited for people to come visit! I would even be excited if some people called me back (you all know who you are) because we don't have that many friends out here yet...

Last week C and I went to North Shore, a little town called Haleiwa (pronounced Hala - eva) which is reputed to have some of the best surfing in the world and the best sno-cones. We found it is a little difficult to eat them before they melt though... as for surfing, well I haven't tried it yet. Maybe when people come to visit.

What else is there to do besides lay on the beach? I spend a lot of time relaxing, playing yahtzee, reading, and doing crossword puzzles. I know that sounds grandma-ish, but it's fun! We have found some of the best drink specials in Waikiki and, my personal favorite, the best dessert in town. Did I mention you all should come visit?!

KJ(Not Dub)

2008-10-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

I have spent the better part of thirty minutes surfing through one of my favorite sites (dictionary.com) in hopes of finding the perfect adjective with which to describe my Waikiki building manager KJ when we complain to his boss. Here are a few that I thought were appropriate:

Petulant: moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, esp. over some trifling annoyance

Curmundgeonly: brusque and surly and forbidding; "crusty remarks"; "a crusty old man"

Imperious: domineering in a haughty manner; dictatorial; overbearing

Thank you dictionary.com. Let me tell you a few anecdotes to help you understand:
1) I am minding my own business in the elevator when KJ boards. He turns to me and says, "You know, the pool guy had to clean up your mess today." "What mess?" I reply. "You know. All those cigarette butts you and your friends have been dropping from your lanai. Are you all about through with that?" Wanting to clear this up quickly I say, "Umm, KJ, my roommates and I don't smoke, none of us do..." "Sure," he quips back, "None of you would do that. Just keep in mind that someone ELSE has to pick up these things" Sensing his obvious disbelief in my innocence, I scramble to defend my reputation and find myself saying, "KJ, three of the four of us have severe asthma, we definitely would not smoke in in our apartment!" As unbelievable a lie as it is, KJ seems relieved, "Oh you do? Good. I'm glad to hear that."
2) Harrison leaves his keys in the elevator. It may be important to note here that you cannot go up or down in the elevator without keys, meaning that Harrison spent the weekend waiting outside the building for someone else to let him up, and was unable to go down in the elevator without one of us going too. Keys are extra important here. After searching for them over the weekend to no avail, Harrison visits KJ's office Monday afternoon to ask if anyone has turned them in. He tells KJ that his keys are on a key ring with a bright orange flip-flop key chain (a gift from our landlord) so they are hard to miss. KJ says he hasn't seen them, but that he does have the mail key our landlord sent him for us. As he opens his top desk drawer to retrieve the mail key, Harrison spies a bright orange flip-flop. "Hey!! That's my key!" KJ, caught, hands Harrison the missing keys on the flip-flop key ring saying, "Yeah, someone turned them in Friday, I just wanted to teach you a lesson." Let me also note here that KJ lives in the building and could have returned them over the weekend, and that at least once a week there is a note in the elevator from some tenant who left his or her keys in the elevator lock. Why does KJ pick on us? I don't know, these are a few small examples of our encounters with KJ.

Waikiki

2008-09-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

Okay okay, finally a new post (finally internet). Have been in Hawaii for about three weeks or so, and so far, it's great! Obviously I miss a few bham things: my family, the better lovers, the beav, and yes, even the rain. My translucent skin and I are still trying to adjust to the constant sunshine and 80 degree weather. So far we haven't ventured too far outside of Waikiki, but Celina and I did visit a nice quiet beach the other day called "Sandy Beach," creative eh? It is also known as break-neck beach because the waves break so hard on the shore that if you get caught up in them you can literally break yourself. Don't worry, I already experienced the unseen wave and my subsequent underwater tumble through the sand onto shore. When I got home not only was there sand in my bottoms, but I found a rock the size of marble had also made it in there somehow. Don't ask me how I didn't notice that until I got home. I think I was too water logged and confused from my wave ass-kicking.

I want to learn to surf. I told a few people this (ahem, Sarah) and shortly thereafter received a wall post linking me to an article about "Surfer's Myelopathy: first time surfer's go paralyzed in Hawaii" Thanks.

I got a job as a barista for Seattle's best. I like the girls who work there a lot and the location (across the street from Waikiki Beach) but tips haven't been as good as they were at Cruisin'... I am told this is normal for coffee houses as opposed to coffee stands. Hopefully I can support myself on what I am making so that I don't have to get a second job. Milk out here costs $8, and I like milk.

I also am dependent on public transportation out here. It's quite an experience since I have never had a bus pass and very rarely ever took a bus in Bellingham. I find it's a pretty great spot for people watching. Today I saw a very old lady fall asleep on the bus, and I thought maybe she had died. I started to get pretty worried but she woke up after the bus came to a sudden halt. I wondered what buses do in case of on-board emergencies. Does the whole bus detour to the hospital or do they pull over and wait for an ambulance? I also saw two Germans in wacky outfits and a cute curly haired kid who liked to read out the names of all the stores we passed. People on the bus often smell, and it is difficult to go grocery shopping without a car, but other than that I really like it.

Well, there is a really nice sunset going on that I can see from the Lanai, so I am going to wrap this up by saying, our condo has plenty of couch and floor space, so come visit!

First Amendment Still Rocks

2008-08-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

One more reason I am ever grateful for the first amendment. What if we lived in a country where you could be sentenced to a year of labor for petitioning the government to peaceably assemble in protest?

Fall is Coming! Fall is Coming! Fall is Coming!

2008-08-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

It starting to get to that point where you can feel it in the air. I love fall for many reasons: the smell of the air, the crisp breeze, warm sweaters, cozy fireplaces, and best of all; new beginnings. The onset of fall is even more a "fresh-slate feeling" than the new year. Maybe we are conditioned to think that way because that's when each new school year began, but even now that I'm out of school, it still feels that way. I also know I am a true Pacific Northwesterner at heart because all the rain makes me feel good, fresh and secure, I find myself looking forward to those drizzly days. Yay fall in Bellingham, I heart you. I hope I get to experience you before I go.

It was unfair - to Ken.

2008-08-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

MoDo!! Ha!

I miss you, journalism

2008-08-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

I'm in a really good mood for writing. If I weren't at work answering the phone every three minutes I would sit down and write a long blog. If there is one thing I miss about school, it's having the chance to write pages and pages every week. Sometimes it seemed like a chore, but mostly I enjoyed it, whether it was a research paper or a blog or a news story. I miss it.

Hopefully I will get to write a long blog later. Hopefully I will still be in the mood. It's been an eventful weekend and has put me in a pensive mood. Pensive + Writing = Relief.

It's almost time for the Olympics!!!

2008-08-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Remember this awesome moment? Strug famously helped the U.S. win gold by landing a vault on only one foot - she had torn two ligaments in the other.

I know it may have benefits for the morbidly obese and elderly but...

2008-07-31T17:03:00.000-07:00

Cheese and rice, how lazy can we get....?

Side Note

2008-07-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the woman who teaches me yoga at the gym came through my line at Cruisin. She ordered a 20 oz. breve mocha with extra chocolate and extra whip. If you are not familiar with coffee, you may not understand how surprising it is for a yoga instructor, who practices organic eating and cleansing, to order this drink.

People's coffee drinks actually DO tell about them. Right now I'm a Double-Tall Almond Latte. Tell me your drink, I'll analyze you.

Long time, no write

2008-07-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

I used to be better about writing in this!

Saturday was my first day off in five weeks, and boy was it satisfying. Here's what I did:
Recovered from book club by sleeping till 9:45.
Ate spinach furtada while watching the footage from Ski-to-Sea with my teammates
Napped
Got a peach smoothie
Played Disc Golf ("Not frolfing, Budz") with KJW
Picked Raspberries with KJW at a "you-pick" farm
Made cobbler with said raspberries
Showered (finally)
Went to Downtown Bob's to meet new friends

All in all, a fabulous day!

I have been job searching for Hawaii! I think I am going to try and do the Barista thing. Seattle's Best is hiring in Oahu and I figure the fact that I have a few advantages with this company, a.) I know how to be a barista and b.) I am actually from the Seattle area in the pnw coffee capitol. I need to update my resume.

I moved home with my parents yesterday. Yes, for one month I will be reverting back to my 16 year old self (which is what always happens) having to explain where I am going and with whom, and getting in trouble for not picking up my dishes. One bonus: cable, an amenity I have gone without for about four years now. Last night my parents went to bed at 9:00 and I watched "Legally Blonde: The broadway search for Elle Woods" on MTV, washed five loads of laundry, and unpacked my crap. Productive.

Whoa.

2008-07-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

We definitely take for granted the FDA regulations and restrictions we have here in the US. What if you could go to a pet store to buy suicide drugs?

Mooshy movies make me mooshy.

2008-07-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

"I remember that time you told me, you said, 'Love is touching souls' and surely you touched mine 'cause part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time." - Joni Mitchell

I moved all my furniture into the living room tonight. My bed is in our dining room and my mini TV is on the bar. It is weird with no roomies around. I'm watching sappy movies, listening to music, painting my toenails and talking for hours on the phone to my girlfriends. It feels just like junior high all over again, only minus the parents being just down the hall. Instead the parents are just across town.

Plus I get to think about my crush, aka "The Boy." It has been a weird couple of months, but things are going better. That quote above made me think of him, and seemed appropriate to my blog. I have been thinking lately how grateful I am to have him around. Even when we argue or get impatient, he is still the person I most want to talk to every day. Here are some of my favorite things about the boy: He is always warm, like a space heater (which is nice because I am always cold); he often answers the phone "Hi beautiful" when I call (and let's be honest, what girl wouldn't like that? It makes me feel good even on days when I haven't showered or worn makeup); he is a good listener, even if he has already heard the story/problem/issue 5 times from me before; he always offers to help even if that means working with Courtney and I clean out the house and sort though old dirty socks and underwear; and he makes the best confused face ever, like an adorable bunny... only clearly a macho alpha bunny. So there you have it.

I will spend the rest of my night feeling slightly paranoid about being alone in the house while watching Grey's Anatomy and eating ice cream... yay!

Who knew Ben Stein was also a writer?

2008-07-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

Some very good advice on love from an economist's perspective:

Lessons in Love, by Way of Economics

By BEN STEIN

AS my fine professor of economics at Columbia, C. Lowell Harriss (who just celebrated his 96th birthday) used to tell us, economics is the study of the allocation of scarce goods and services. What could be scarcer or more precious than love? It is rare, hard to come by and often fragile.

My primary life study has been about love. Second comes economics, so here, in the form of a few rules, is a little amalgam of the two fields: the economics of love. (I last wrote about this subject 20 years or so ago, and it’s time to update it.)

•

In general, and with rare exceptions, the returns in love situations are roughly proportional to the amount of time and devotion invested. The amount of love you get from an investment in love is correlated, if only roughly, to the amount of yourself you invest in the relationship.

If you invest caring, patience and unselfishness, you get those things back. (This assumes, of course, that you are having a relationship with someone who loves you, and not a one-sided love affair with someone who isn’t interested.)

•

High-quality bonds consistently yield more return than junk, and so it is with high-quality love. As for the returns on bonds, I know that my comment will come as a surprise to people who have been brainwashed into thinking that junk bonds are free money. They aren’t. The data from the maven of bond research, W. Braddock Hickman, shows that junk debt outperforms high quality only in rare situations, because of the default risk.

In love, the data is even clearer. Stay with high-quality human beings. And once you find that you are in a junk relationship, sell immediately. Junk situations can look appealing and seductive, but junk is junk. Be wary of it unless you control the market.

(Or, as I like to tell college students, the absolutely surest way to ruin your life is to have a relationship with someone with many serious problems, and to think that you can change this person.)

•

Research pays off. The most appealing and seductive (that word again) exterior can hide the most danger and chance of loss. For most of us, diversification in love, at least beyond a very small number, is impossible, so it’s necessary to do a lot of research on the choice you make. It is a rare man or woman who can resist the outward and the surface. But exteriors can hide far too much.

•

In every long-term romantic situation, returns are greater when there is a monopoly. If you have to share your love with others, if you have to compete even after a brief while with others, forget the whole thing. You want to have monopoly bonds with your long-term lover. At least most situations work out better this way. ( I am too old to consider short-term romantic events. Those were my life when Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon were in the White House.)

•

The returns on your investment should at least equal the cost of the investment. If you are getting less back than you put in over a considerable period of time, back off.

•

Long-term investment pays off. The impatient day player will fare poorly without inside information or market-controlling power. He or she will have a few good days but years of agony in the world of love.

To coin a phrase: Fall in love in haste, repent at leisure.

•

Realistic expectations are everything. If you have unrealistic expectations, they will rarely be met. If you think that you can go from nowhere to having someone wonderful in love with you, you are probably wrong.

You need expectations that match reality before you can make some progress. There may be exceptions, but they are rare.

•

When you have a winner, stick with your winner. Whether in love or in the stock market, winners are to be prized.

•

Have a dog or many dogs or cats in your life. These are your anchors to windward and your unfailing source of love.

Ben Franklin summed it up well. In times of stress, the three best things to have are an old dog, an old wife and ready money. How right he was.

THERE is more that could be said about the economics of love, but these thoughts may divert you while you are thinking about your future.

And let me close with another thought. I am far from glib about the economy. It has a lot of pitfalls facing it. As workers and investors, we know that many dangers lurk in our paths.

But so far, these things have always worked themselves out and this one will, too. In the meantime, they say that falling in love is wonderful, and that the best is falling in love with what you have.

Ben Stein is a lawyer, writer, actor and economist. E-mail: ebiz@nytimes.com.

Barack's Plan for Iraq

2008-07-14T12:56:00.001-07:00

Obama contributed an op-ed piece to the NY Times today on his plan for getting out of Iraq. Read about it here.

7 weeks and counting

2008-07-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

I leave on August 29th for Hawai'i!!! Only 7 more weeks left in town. It has all seemed a little surreal, but now as I am preparing to pack up my house and tie up some loose ends, it is beginning to become more real to me. Here are a list of the top things I will miss when I move:

*Family and friends is obviously number 1.
*My gym, I know this sounds ditzy or nerdy, but I love love love my gym and all the people there and I'm really nervous that I won't be able to find a good gym in Hawaii. I will miss the other regulars like Twin, The Machine, Dimples, and Retirement Playa.
*Coffee. Let's face it, islanders don't know from good coffee
*My own room. I am excited about my roommates, but I haven't shared a room in years and I think I will miss my privacy a little.
*The rain. I get a little grouchy if it goes more than a week without a gray, cloudy sky and some showers. Call it a side-effect of being raised in the Pacific Northwest, but I like the rain.
*Being able to go a long time without applying sunscreen or shaving my legs. These things will obviously change.
*Cheap milk. Cheap living, for that matter.
*My car, I am going to have to adjust to public transportation. I'm not a princess or anything, but I'm not looking forward to riding the bus everywhere.
*80's night, especially since the Nightlight will reopen this September.
*All the used bookstores around here.

Here are a list of things I will enjoy in Honolulu that Bham doesn't have:
*Palm trees and sandy beaches, water warm enough to swim in without the fear of hypothermia
*Mike Love.
*Laid back lifestyle. Sunshine generally makes people happier than rain.
*New exciting job
*New friends and new adventures
*Old friends visiting me on a tropical island, my home being a vacation destination
*New puppy??? Let's hope so.

Year of the Rat

2008-07-11T12:04:00.001-07:00

I was reminded at work today that in Chinese zodiac it's the year of the Rat, it's my year! I looked up the Rat to find out what it says about me as a person. The description was surprisingly accurate I thought, especially the negative side:

Being the first sign of the Chinese zodiac, rats are leaders, pioneers and conquerors. They are charming, passionate, charismatic, practical and hardworking. Rat people are endowed with great leadership skills and are the most highly organized, meticulous, and systematic of the twelve signs. Intelligent and cunning at the same time, rats are highly ambitious and strong-willed people who are keen and unapologetic promoters of their own agendas, which often include money and power. They are energetic and versatile and can usually find their way around obstacles, and adapt to various environments easily. A rat's natural charm and sharp demeanor make it an appealing friend for almost anyone, but rats are usually highly exclusive and selective when choosing friends and so often have only a few very close friends whom they trust.

Behind the smiles and charm, rats can be terribly obstinate and controlling, insisting on having things their way no matter what the cost. These people tend to have immense control of their emotions, which they may use as a tool to manipulate and exploit others, both emotionally and mentally. Rats are masters of mind games and can be very dangerous, calculative and downright cruel if the need arises. Quick-tempered and aggressive, they will not think twice about exacting revenge on those that hurt them in any way. Rats need to learn to relax sometimes, as they can be quite obsessed with detail, intolerant and strict, demanding order, obedience, and perfection.

A valuable lesson for Rats is to learn to consider others before themselves, at least sometimes, and to avoid forcing their ideas onto others. Rats are fair in their dealings and expect the same from others in return, and can be deeply affronted if they feel they have been deceived or that their trust has been abused. Sometimes they set their targets too high, whether in relation to their friends or in their career. But as the years pass, they will become more idealistic and tolerant. If they can develop their sense of self and realize it leaves room for others in their life as well, Rats can find true happiness.

I thought a few of you might be interested in your own Chinese zodiacs, so here you go, let me know if you think they are accurate:

If you were born Feb. 3, 1983 - Feb. 1, 1984 you are a Pig

If you were born Feb. 4, 1985 - Feb. 8, 1986 you are an Ox

Tattoo where?

2008-07-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have seriously been contemplating the idea of getting a tattoo, I even know what it would be. I would have the "Five Solas" written in Latin in small script. They are:

-Sola scriptura
-Sola fide
-Sola gratia
-Solus Christus
-Soli Deo Gloria

Which mean, "By Scripture alone, by faith alone, by grace alone, by Christ alone, Glory to God alone" respectively. You can read more about the history of these phrases here. Now the questions are, what do you all think about having this etched on my body forever, and, where should it go?

Since this would be a life-long commitment, I expect a thoughtful response from everyone. Go.

This is coming off my facebook wall, but I want to immortalize it forever

2008-07-01T14:54:00.000-07:00

"Ten Steps to Get to my Crush
1. Become friends with his friends.
2. Become the basketball team manager
3. Walk by the weight room if he is in there (but not too many times in one day)
4. Find the word "sandwich" in as many languages as you can.
5. Watch WWF when you get the chance
6. When you see him in the hall, Smile!
7. Have friends say good things about you.
8. Find out what he's into - get into it!
9. Practice basketball at open gym, maybe show off your moves?
10. Talk to him."
- Excerpt from a friends middle school diary

updates

2008-07-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

On the ride back from Seattle the other day, as Matt R and Marti slept peacefully in the backseat, Patty and I talked talked about what's going on in everyone's post graduate life. This inevitably led to a talk about facebook stalking, which is how most of us keep up with our peers. This type of social information network comes with many pitfalls. Pat told me he that now when people ask him what is going on with so-and-so, he may know, but he will censor what he says because it's hard to remember if that person told him, or if he found out via internet stalking, which is far less socially acceptable gossip. We agreed that the social stigma of being a facebook stalker is unwarranted, because practically everyone uses this tool for information whether they admit it or not. What you put on your facebook or myspace profile is fair game, I say. There should be no shame in knowing a ridiculous amount of useless information like favorite music, movies and relationship status updates about that one kid from that one class freshman year.

Camping this weekend was a huge success. We scared away the people who would have camped in the site next to us after they pulled up and saw all of our "beer wands" which were all the beers we drank over the weekend duct-taped together to form long poles. Since there were upwards of ten people hanging out, you can imagine that there were quite a few beers cans to string together... the would-be neighbors relocated to a site down the road a ways.

If you get bored of your facebook stalking check out these sites, my most visited internet hotspots besides face/myspace:

www.postsecret.com
www.songmeanings.net
www.crimelibrary.com
www.dictionary.com
www.by-art.com
www.nytimes.com (to Maureen Dowd)

I love book club better lovers, beaver Don, and songstress Maria Taylor

What Love means to 4-8 year olds ...

2008-06-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

 A group of professional people posed  this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love  mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could  have imagined. See what you  think:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'When  my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend
over and paint her toenails  anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
when his  hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age  8

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'When  someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know  that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age  4

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go  out and smell each other.'

Karl - age  5

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without  making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age  6

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age  4

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving  it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age  7

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still  want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.  They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age  8

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and  listen.'

Bobby - age 7  (Wow!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'If  you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you  hate,'

Nikka - age 6

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it  everyday.'

Noelle - age  7

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even  after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age  6

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'During  my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the  people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the  only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore.'

Cindy - age  8

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'My  mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to  sleep at
night.'

Clare - age  6

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age  5

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer  than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age  7

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all  day.'

Mary Ann - age  4

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'I  know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and  has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age  4

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'When  you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of  you.' (what an image)

Karen - age  7

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love  is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's  gross.'

Mark - age  6

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'You  really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you  should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age  8

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And  the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next  door
neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently
lost his  wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the
old  gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just
sat there.

When his  Mother asked what he had said to the
neighbor, the little boy  said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

The Year of Living Biblically

2008-06-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

In the new book club book, The Year of Living Biblically, the author tries to follow the Bible as literally as possible. This has already led to some amusing and embarrassing scenes for the author. Aside from putting tassels on his clothes and having unshaven facial hair, the author has to abide by some pretty tough rituals, one of which has lead to my favorite moment so far: Jacobs is not allowed to touch his wife or sit anywhere she has sat during the time of the month when she menstruates because in the old testament it was considered "unclean." Highly affronted, Jacobs' wife retaliates by sitting on every surface in the house; every chair, bed and countertop. Jacobs solves this problem by purchasing this "handy seat". He then proceeds to write about why this handy seat is a wonderful commode for his situation: 1. It "looks like a staff." and 2. Most likely all public seating is "unclean" and so he can whip it out on the subway or a restaurant!

Point being: this is a funny book because living the old testament in modern times would be very difficult, yet comedic. You should read it.

2008-06-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

My right shoulder hurts. Actually my whole right side hurts and I'm wondering how it happened. Either my right side has been doing a disproportionate amount of work, or I've had a minor stroke. Hmm.

MBI

2008-06-19T16:05:00.000-07:00

First day back at MBI. Familiar familiar familiar in a good way. In a better way than I envisioned at first. This also means that I have time again every day to check/stalk people's blogs, facebook profiles and general wikipedia wonderings. Not too much time (like in Burlington), just down time. Yay! Plus I am making lots o' money.

The "L" List

2008-06-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

This is Blake Lively, she is now at the top of my L-List, and I haven't even seen Gossip Girl:
The rest are as follows:
2. Jessica Alba
3. Kate Hudson
4. Eva Longoria-Parker
5. Keira Knightley

Now write and leave me your "top 5" L or G lists. Pretty please.

Murdoch Freak Out

2008-05-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

Murdoch freaks out over this parody of the Wall Street Journal and its objectivity in reporting practices.

Life After Burlington

2008-05-29T12:30:00.000-07:00

It has been a very long time since I last posted. Do you know why that is? It's because I have NOT been staring mindlessly at my computer screen, trapped at my desk, in Burlington. Now I can do something during the day other than facebook stalk acquaintances and dig dirt out from under my nails with a bent paperclip. So what's new?

I am working coffee. I just had my first day on the coffee bar, and it went as well as could be expected (although I burnt myself on the steam wand more times than I could really justify). It has been fun comparing stories with my other barista friends: Sars, KJW, and Emily.

I am trying to get an internship with Baron & Co. and have done an interview and a writing/editing exam. I'm not sure if I'm in, but I hope so. The guy interviewing me is really cool and we have one mutual friend (Lach!) so I hope that that might score me some points... although I wish I would've had my AP Style Book today at the copy-editing quiz.... When to abbreviate the word Street and the months of the year - some things I hadn't thought about for a while.

AP Style can be tricky anyway - in journalism I once got a C on an otherwise perfect copy just because I didn't change the word "Pig" to "Hog" throughout the paper (Apparently if it is more than 500 lbs., it is technically a hog.)

Today I ate an entire tub of Reeses peanut butter bites. That's about 1000 unnecessary calories. Now I feel like a hog - not a pig, a hog.

I also did Ski to Sea last weekend with the Better Lovers. We came in 419 out of 430... so yeah, we did really well and now some of us are thinking of doing a triathlon together. Yay!

Interesting

2008-05-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

Two years ago some guy invented "Rape-X" a condom (or diaphragm) that a woman can wear if she is worried about being raped. It has barbed hooks that will rip or shred the penis of a rapist, effectively impairing him and giving the victim time to escape. The idea for this product came in part from an old myth called "vagina dentata" which is Latin for "toothed vagina." In old days this was a cautionary tale to prevent men from raping women or having sex with strangers. Interesting.

Best Monday Ever, and KJW why don't you read my blog anymore?

2008-05-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

It's my last Monday ever in Burlington, which means it is also the best Monday ever in Burlington.

This weekend I stayed up for 24 hours so that I could do "Burly Girls" an all-girl event that is RYD-ish but with different tasks and a lot less gender supremacy. We met in the park in cocktail dresses for opening ceremony on Friday night, then we got into sweats to play football. I'm not super competitive or coordinated, but I think I did alright. I tackled someone and ran down the field with the ball. I don't know how many yards or whatever, but I am a fast runner and so it seemed pretty far. We got energy drinks at the super market. We played Kick-the-Can in an abandoned cement factory, got cheesy fries at the Ranch Room, hiked to Sehome Arboretum, played German spotlight, rode bikes down Alabama, went skinny dipping in Lake Padden, danced in the Cruisin' Coffee parking lot on Lakeway, watched the sunrise from Toad Mountain and did random acts of kindness. It was a full night, and it was awesome.

Last night Ren, Courtney and I talked about what "love" is, and whether it is fundamentally the same in all relationships, whether romantic or platonic. I think they are very much the same, although there are a few glaring differences - I wouldn't want to make out with my sister for example - but I think the root of it is still the same. I still take my definition of real "love" from 1 Corinthians, but even then, I don't know if perfect Love is possible here on earth. I still wonder sometimes if love is strong enough to overcome all the pain in this world. I know I still have my own reservations and worries to break through in that department as well, because to me, human love can be a scary and unreliable thing. Over the last few years many things have happened to make me doubt the power of human love; relationships break up, friendships dissolve, people who say they "love" end up cheating or lying to each other. It seems like people are most often self-seeking and self-gratifying (myself included). Can we really have any true conception of what Love is? The only completely unfailing earthly love I have ever experienced has been from my parents; I can never remember a time I ever doubted their love for me or worried about putting my trust in them. I hope this type of love is possible in all other relationships, but I don't know it, and the more of life I see, the harder it gets to believe in it. So here's to hoping...

At least it was a good discussion. Any thoughts? Comments?

Later today I am going to make my rounds about the property and say goodbye to all the store managers I have worked with here. I decided to make a list of some things I will actually miss in Burlington: treats from Rocky Mountain Chocolate, free time to check my email/facebook/blogs, the maintenance crew, talking to managers, and editing copy (on the rare occasion I get to). There. That was a pretty good list. Back to my last Outlet Shoppes Monday ever!

Yay for the Week!

2008-05-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

I had my barista training yesterday! Well it was only the first day of 20 hours I believe, but it was pretty cool. I learned "tamping" and "ristretto" and "crema" and I also learned how to make good foam (I kept in mind what you said, Walden, about tipping the cup) and I made a caramel macchiato and a wet cappuccino! Yay!! I love coffee!

Even better: I discovered that the ONLY public relations firm in Bellingham is taking on a summer intern. I applied. Interview Wednesday. Did I mention this is a PAID internship?! Life if freaking really good right now. If I ended up getting this internship it would be the most exciting thing all year. And, as everyone keeps telling me, this is my year! So I should get it, if that Chinese zodiac thing really works... Plus it couldn't hurt that this company did a huge PR campaign for the radiology center that my dad runs, could it? :)

The only bad thing of the week has been these paralyzing foot cramps I have been getting. (Don't panic Ski-to-Sea-ers) They have been getting progressively worse over the last few months and the last week or so have gotten to be regular post-workout ragers. I run, run, run and then it feels like my foot begins to be cut in half vertically, right at the ball. I have to stop and like, hug my foot and cry.

"Eat Bananas." That is what everyone says. Apparently cramps can be caused by a lack of potassium. So now I am eating at least one banana a day. IcyHot helps too.

I saw Matt K at the gym yesterday. I told him about Hawaii. The ensuing discussion led to my favorite quote of the week:

"Hawaii is a dumb fucking state. I mean really really dumb! Everyone drops out of school there when they are like 12. You could definitely find a job there. Not that you need to go to a state full of dumb people in order to find a job..."

What the Hell is going on?!

2008-05-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Earthquake in China kills 8,500 people
Cyclone Toll Raised to 32,000

Online Shopping Etc.

2008-05-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't written for a whole week and that is crazy! Still working on the Hawaii plan. At my family reunion this weekend the relatives were split pretty evenly down the middle. Half said, "Go to Hawaii, you are young!!" the other half said, "Forget it! Go to grad school and stop procrastinating the real world already."

In Spokane I bought an extremely adorable pair of red leather open-toed pumps with a three inch heel at Nordstrom Rack. Where will I wear them? I don't know. Why do I need them? I really don't. But they are Steve Maddens and were on a BIG sale. God I love Nordstrom rack. I love shoes. And I have been doing a little bit of compulsive shopping.

I wanted to buy an old/used 4 GB ipod on ebay that I could strap to my arm and work out with (My 30 GB one is too big for that) so I found one for $40, bid on it, won, and then realized that it wasn't a real iPod, it was a knock off. But the seller used the word iPod in the title and in the description and then did this at the bottom:
*iPod alike
So now that I know it isn't a REAL iPod, I don't want to pay for this knock off and I'm trying to figure out what happens if I just don't submit payment for it... what can ebay do to me? Anyone know? I know that I am the idiot here for not reading the "fine print" but obviously this was a scam... and I now realize that I need to SAVE my money, not spend it on super super cute Steve Madden shoes and an iPod knockoff.

On an internet-shopping related note, check out my sister's website. She designs and makes her own hats and is selling them online. It's pretty cool actually.

Two Weeks Notice

2008-05-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

"It's really really easy to get a food handler's permit. On the test the questions are like, 'Should you pick your nose and wipe it in the food?' Umm, no." - Lynn B. on taking the test for food handling.

I gave my two weeks notice on Friday. I am really excited, in fact, the knowledge that I will only be trapped in Burlington for two more weeks has shed a very sunny light on my lately downtrodden spirit. I hope I enjoy slinging coffee, I hope the pay cut is worth it. I have a feeling that almost anything would be more engaging and enjoyable than my present job. Now I can finally stop whining about it - aren't you all soooo relieved?

Last night I had some difficulty sleeping because I was imaging that a ghost who looks like this:
was about to crawl into bed next to me. (Bag Head Boy) I tried to call the boy for emotional support, but he was already sleeping and didn't have the energy to assuage my perfectly justified and rational fear. It was a very scary movie!

Afternoon off

2008-05-01T15:10:00.000-07:00

Yay for the afternoon off!!! I left work at 11:45 this morning to make it to an interview with Cruisin' at 12:30. Now at 2:30, here I sit: watching 27 dresses, drinking a pint of Boundary Bay Scotch Ale and eating salted cashews. I feel slightly inebriated. Good day.

2008-04-30T16:40:00.000-07:00

I love reading my old blogs on myspace. I was way funnier back then.

Stuff

2008-04-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

Spring really does make a person feel like cleaning. I have cleaned out the files in my office (mostly to avoid more work on the phone tree) and my bedroom at home. I kept finding pairs of shoes, so I decided to round them all up and I counted about 35 pairs including my flip flops. That number seemed a little excessive by itself, then I realized that I didn't even bring all my shoes from my parents house... hmmm. I love them all too much to give away. Like my earring preference (large and circular) I seem to also have a shoe preference. I have about five pairs of open toed wedges in varying heel size and color and approximately six pairs of differently styled black flats.

Also, I am online shopping as an attempt to satiate my boredom, and it's bad because I don't have any money. In the last week I have bought: two layering camis from wetseal.com; the new Dave Barnes cd, and the movie Juno. Total: $35.00

At least it wasn't more shoes.

I adored this movie.

2008-04-28T13:23:00.001-07:00

On the Move

2008-04-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

So, I really think I want this move to work out. I think it would be a fun adventure and I don't know when else I will be as free to do this as I am right now. I am a little apprehensive, but mostly just really excited at the prospect. I still need to find some other people willing to delay their lives for almost a year, but if I can convince anyone, I will be ready to commit... Patience has never been a strong virtue of mine, and now, as plans grow increasingly ambiguous I am struggling to stay patient and see what happens. Thoughts? Advice? Know someone who wants to go?

Oh My God, It Could Really Happen

2008-04-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

Hi Lindsay,

It is no problem for you to defer your admission till 2009 if you feel like you have a great opportunity. The process if for you to contact Dr. ---- via email and let him know what you wish to do and ask for his concurrence. Make it clear to them that you don’t want to withdraw your application but just defer it to 2009. Good luck and let me know if you need further assistance.

Dan

Untitled

2008-04-24T09:41:00.001-07:00

I just found out that my stand-in boyfriend also reads these blogs, now I feel added pressure to be witty or at least pithy. I haven't been achieving that lately - sorry Nate, I will try to do better in the future!

I still haven't heard back from my MBA Adviser. I am a really impatient person and am resisting the urge to shoot off another email... I guess it has only been four days. I really need to know if deferment is even an option. On that note, I have continued to attempt to recruit people who wish to live in island paradise for about 9 months. Interested parties, let me know :)

This is short, and not witty at all, but I have to finish writing my f-ing phone tree for work, so I must go. More later.

Have I Mentioned that I Love Maureen Dowd?

2008-04-23T10:08:00.001-07:00

Oh MoDo, you make me laugh out loud at work.

Best Pull Text:

"In the final days in Pennsylvania, [Obama] dutifully logged time at diners and force-fed himself waffles, pancakes, sausage and a Philly cheese steak. He split the pancakes with Michelle, left some of the waffle and sausage behind, and gave away the French fries that came with the cheese steak.

But this is clearly a man who can’t wait to get back to his organic scrambled egg whites. That was made plain with his cri de coeur at the Glider Diner in Scranton when a reporter asked him about Jimmy Carter and Hamas.

“Why” he pleaded, sounding a bit, dare we say, bitter, “can’t I just eat my waffle?”

His subtext was obvious: Why can’t I just be president? Why do I have to keep eating these gooey waffles and answering these gotcha questions and debating this gonzo woman?"

And on the Clinton campaign bullying:

"The very fact that he can’t shake her off has become her best argument against him. “Why can’t he close the deal?” Hillary taunted at a polling place on Tuesday.

She’s been running ads about it, suggesting he doesn’t have “what it takes” to run the country. Her message is unapologetically emasculating: If he does not have the gumption to put me in my place, when superdelegates are deserting me, money is drying up, he’s outspending me 2-to-1 on TV ads, my husband’s going crackers and party leaders are sick of me, how can he be trusted to totally obliterate Iran and stop Osama?"

Okay that was a weak moment

2008-04-22T14:51:00.001-07:00

I am going to try to write something other than self-pitying diatribes.

Last night I went to Rilo Kiley, which was seriously awesome, we stood one row from the stage and sang along to all my favorites like: It's a Hit, Portions for Foxes, and Silver Lining. I also discovered a new song I like:

Then I found out that Mason Jennings is coming to Seattle and I have been waiting to see him in concert for as long as I've loved his music (or about four years). People who blow harp in their music get bonus points in my book. If I could learn to play any instrument, it might be that one.

I am still waiting to hear back from my MBA adviser on the deferment process (if they even have one), and I feel productive about checking into it.

If you want a big smile today you will check this out. You will enjoy it all the more if you've ever done customer service (who hasn't).

I hate jobs and leases and admissions.

2008-04-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

It would be very difficult to explain to anyone right now how fucking trapped my life feels. And I'm sorry I am always bitching about it and have nothing else interesting to say anymore.

I'm really trying here Rilke and it's just not working.

Profile Picture Selection

2008-04-20T17:38:00.001-07:00

Know what the sad thing about job searching is, I can't post inappropriate profile pictures just in case some potential employer decides to stalk my social networking pages. For example, I would like to make this my profile picture:

But I look too drunk and a little too much like Satan. And then there's some crazy freak standing next to me as well. (She just came up and smiled, it was pretty weird).

I love Tegan and Sara

2008-04-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

but isn't it for everyone?

2008-04-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

It's pretty clear that perpetual dissatisfaction is my biggest problem. I make life a lot harder by being indecisive and impatient at the same time.

Advice of the day "Don't do something rash" - my mom on my recent landslide of life-changing plans. Ha!

Hawaiiiiii

2008-04-17T11:32:00.001-07:00

Just got back from Oahu. Love love love. Love the warm weather, the palm trees, the atmosphere. Love the dollar theatre and the strong drinks and all the fruit. Maybe I just got lucky because I was staying with some amazing people, but there is something about HI that makes me want to live there. Even its state abbreviation is friendly.

Who wants to be crazy, defer all their plans for a year or six months and move to an island with me? Serious inquiries only.

New goals:
-quit my job in the next three weeks, possibly work at a coffee stand for the summer/year.
-look into grad school deferment (aah!).
-clean the shit hole that has become my room.
-pay off my credit card in the next two paychecks... meaning I will eat top ramen for the next month at least.

Decisions

2008-03-31T10:24:00.000-07:00

This is the worst day ever, and who knows how long that feeling will last. When I feel upset, I have a hard time functioning. These last few days have been especially hard - I have no appetite, I can't sleep, my stomach is in knots. I feel the weight of this decision bearing down on me with no clear answer in sight. My head and my heart are telling me two very different things, and I'm trying to balance between protecting myself from further hurt and still being able to forgive. I feel as confused as I've ever been. How can someone say they love you and then be envisioning another relationship? How can that be real love? When something happens that changes everything you thought you knew, that challenges the security you felt, how do you move past it?

I don't know any of the answers to these questions, and I won't write anything else about this. I know that without the support of some very good friends I would be in a much worse place right now. The person I most want consoling from is the one person I can't face, and it has been so important to have friends who will just listen. So thanks to those of you who have been there.

"I start to forget how my heart gets torn, when that hurt gets thrown, feeling like you can't go on." - David Gray

2008-03-30T12:30:00.001-07:00

Okay you talked me into it

2008-03-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

I am going to copy Nicole and write a profile about one of my very favorite people ever, and my oldest friend.

Name: Allison Leigh

Nicknames: Toothpick, Gum Head, Al, Bud, Young Legs

Age: Newly 21

Hometown: Bellingham

Occupation: Student, Receptionist, Weirdo

Education: Going for a B.S. and then a Master's in Speech Language Pathology (yeah she's a smarty)

Likes: All things organic, yoga, CMT, shoes, singing along to her Ipod at the gym, Jodi Picoult novels, crocheting, Fergie, leg warmers, her hair, making soup, dancing, plotting to kill Nicole Kidman.

Dislikes: Any food that I really like, working more than two consecutive eight hour days, being told what to do, loaning out clothes, lifetime movie network, feathered hair pieces, losing at Monopoly.

Best Quotes: "Allison: And then I had my one hypothesi and, wait hypothesi that's right, right? Cause it's just one.
Me: Um, no. Hypothesis is already singular.
Allison: Oh, okay, so then in my hypotheSIS I said there was one octopi that...
Me: Umm, okay, now octopi is plural..."

"My hair looks so good in this picture. Can you believe how good it looks?"

"Sad... Can we get a turtle?" - Upon hearing the news that our pet hamster died

Her Favorite Quotes: "When things get too heavy, just call me helium, the lightest known gas to man."~Jimi Hendrix

"CROCODILE IS OUT OF STYLE, COMPASSION IS IN FASHION!!" ~animal rights activists...

Fun facts: Allison once performed the most awkward gymnastics routine that my family and pull it out and watch it on home video whenever we need a good laugh.

Allison's fire safety plan used to include parachuting out the second story window with a bed sheet.

She used to want to be a nutritionist, until she realized speech pathologists made a lot more money.

When telling people what she spent on an item of clothing, Allison will always deduct $5 from the price she actually paid.

The fastest way to win in a fight against Allison is to poke her squarely in between the shoulder blades. This also causes her to assume a very amusing stance, much like that of a stroke victim trying to dance.

And that's my sister in a nutshell. She's also a really warm, compassionate, and a complete goof-ball.

Identity

2008-03-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

My sister and I constantly get mistaken for each other. My new brown hair has not been as much of an identity booster as I expected, people still get us confused regardless. I am pretty sure she got the good hair and nose of the family; she's the cute one.
Even so, people just can't seem to keep us straight. We have been asked many times if we are identical twins. When we job-shared a year ago, I worked MWF, she worked TR. After three months of this schedule, the technologist asked our supervisor why some days I called myself Lindsay and some days I called myself Allison. Really? We are similar looking, but definitely different. This is her in the picture.
I think she looks kind of like an Olsen twin right here, where as I would never be mistaken for an Olsen.

Actually, I am tempted to copy cat Nicole and write a profile about Allison, but I will try to come up with something else creative instead of trying to steal her thunder...

(I need to start taking artsy modeling pictures and posting them on facebook, it's all the rage right now. Maybe then people would comment repeatedly on how gorgeous I am and my boyfriend would reassure me of my 10 out of 10 potential on Hot or Not.com like he does with his female friends. It would be a change from all the "demon eyes" comments I get.)

Boredom = Online Shopping I Cannot Afford

2008-03-26T10:12:00.001-07:00

First, someone talk me out of buying this insanely cute swimsuit. I really can't afford to be spending $100 on a swim suit, but partly out of sheer boredom I have selected it, put it in the basket and almost paid for it three times now. Not good. Maybe if I have extra money from my computer rebate I will buy it.... I love it. Or someone could try to talk me out of it.

Bubble Wrap!

2008-03-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

Back at work. I feel very tired now that I've had a few consecutive days of blissfully sleeping in and lounging. Grouch is tired too, I can tell. I got a sheet of bubble wrap - the kind with huge bubbles - in an envelope today. For the last twenty minutes or so everyone who is within earshot of my office has probably been wondering what is causing the ear-splitting gunshot sound. The ADT security guy caught me mid-pop and I could tell he was trying to stifle a laugh. I can't help it that I'm 23 and still enjoy bubble wrap! Honestly though, is there a person out there of any age who, given the chance, would pass on playing with bubble wrap? Maybe people who work in a bubble wrap factory are sick of it, but honestly I think they probably still enjoy it as well. The thing about it though: it's only fun if you are the one popping it. If you are just a listener, chances are that you are being highly irritated by the sound.

The manager of Maidenform just stopped in to check on me because she heard a loud noise. Time to stop with the bubble wrap.

On a more grown up topic, I had my interview this afternoon with the hospital. It went well, they were glad I was already HIPAA trained and proficient in Carecast (the hospital database) but they said the hours weren't flexible, and probably wouldn't work with school. So I'm back on the job trail. I have some serious concerns that my present boss might have found the cover letter I drafted for another job. I found it on "my recent documents" but I didn't do it recently... So am now tentatively waiting for him to approach me about it. There is the possibility I guess that I actually do so little work that a document I did a week and a half ago would still pop up on my "recent documents" and that is just sad. But let's just hope for the latter since we all already know my job is less than exciting.

This weekend I did some reading down at the Black Drop (yay!) I love that coffee shop, they know me there, they know my order, they make the best coffee. It's lovely. Anyway, I looked up to see a white-bearded man in checkered suit skipping down the sidewalk like little boy. He grabbed a light pole and swung himself around and clicked his heels. By this time he had the attention of the whole coffee house. He started singing, eyes closed arms outstretched, and then skipped off. I thought to myself, "Now here is a man who enjoys life. Or is high on drugs." Then he rounded the corner again followed by a whole troop of Bellingham's signature indie scenesters (including "black drop coffee house guy" aptly named because of his frequent coffee house patronage) I guess the skipper was part of a live marketing ploy to advertise a local theater group. I loved it! I was a little sad that he wasn't just a crazy old man in love with life, but theater group junkie is a close second and is a lot better than a drugged-out old hippie.

You can tell I have a soft spot for the small joys in life: bubble wrap and skipping old men.

More than Country Naming Quizzes

2008-03-21T15:12:00.001-07:00

I learned a few things about myself by taking these helpful quizzes today. Here are the results:

17

77%LUSH

(I bet you didn't know Uisce is the Gaelic word for Whiskey or, literally, Water of Life)

45

43%

40%

who knows

2008-03-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back at work on today, just in time for the weekend! That is the best way to go back to work, let me tell you. Plus, I have the office to myself all morning which gives me plenty of time to catch up on all the blogs I've missed over the last week, play my moves in scrabulous, and review the newly posted pictures from book club!

It has come to my attention that I always make this face at least once in every set of pictures, here's some proof over the years:

Brunette Lindsay does it
Blonde Lindsay does it
Sometimes I do it AT other people

If you are wondering what possesses me to try and replicate this signature KISS look, I will just say that it is because I look so obviously attractive with angry eyes and barred teeth.

I have an interview for a new job Monday. No guarantees I'd get it, but I am pretty excited just the same.

The boy and I danced around under the streetlight in the snow last night. It was great fun. In my life, I don't know that I could ever come across another person who is as young at heart as the boy. His reaction to the snow was pretty much like that of a kid celebrating a snow day - except much louder and his bouncing off the walls trying to find a jacket is a lot more hazardous than a 7 year old's. I really love that.

Okay. I have to watch for a fax to come in and make a bagel. So maybe when boredom strikes later you will hear from me again. Twice in one day! How lucky are you?!

Flu, WWU

2008-03-19T12:52:00.002-07:00

I have the flu. I should have gotten a flu shot this year but I procrastinated and it is too late. I am kind of a baby about being sick. On my way home from work yesterday I started to tear up and drove to my parents house to eat soup and watch cable. My dad got home and made me a grilled cheese and my mom got me some meds. I love being at home when I am sick. I get taken good care of. The flu is no fun, but I didn't have to go to work today, so although I have a fever and some achy joints and muscles, I also get to eat Jell-O (my mom gave me), nap and watch Pride & Prejudice - the six hour version. So being sick is not all bad. I like the resting and the not being at work parts.

WWU finally got back to me! I'm in! This is a huge relief as it means that I will be in school again this fall, most likely at Western. Now I feel like I can begin to make plans: look for a part-time job, think about housing for next year, etc. I applied for a marketing specialist position with the hospital, it is 25-28 hours per week and pays a LOT better than my current job. In fact, I think I would probably not lose anything in pay were I to get this job, even though it is less hours. Here's hoping. At least 1/2 of my problems are now solved, and that is Great!

I tried to think of a good acronym to start off this post with, but I settled for a commonly known one that rhymed with my sickness, how's that?

ARG.

2008-03-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have been sitting at my desk with nothing to do since 9 a.m. - I didn't even get any mail to open today. The guy who drops off our newspaper laughed at me and said "whoa hang in there, here's something to read" because I am so obviously bored. I hope to God that I hear back from one of the jobs I applied to by the end of the week, because right now I seriously feel like I am about to snap. And what the HELL is Western doing with my application? Last Wednesday they said I'd hear by the beginning of this week "at the latest" - well freaking admit me or deny me, just tell me already!!! I'm very sorry to everyone who always has to read my bitching about my boring freaking job and my unbelievably dragged out Western application, but if I could just figure these two things out, everything in my life would be Great with a capital G.

Earlier today I looked up my company's resignation policy. I can't wait to write that letter.

Harvard Law Offers Special Tuition Break

2008-03-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

This is awesome, I wish more schools would give incentives for public service like this

I Believe

2008-03-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

I watched a dramatic episode of Grey's last night (aren't they all) and was inspired by a speech that Izzie gives about what she believes in. Since I am bored and newly thoughtful, I decided to create my own "I believe" list. You can link to Izzie's monologue on YouTube here

I believe things will turn out as they're meant to.
I believe old people aren't grouchy, just misunderstood
I believe sushi contains my daily serving of vegetables
I believe the purpose of fashion magazines is to make people feel dissatisfied
I believe that everyone should have access to health care
I believe that raffles are one of the worst panic inducers
I believe that if someone is getting on my nerves, I am probably getting on theirs
I believe it is okay to quit something, as long as you really did try
I believe music is always better live
I believe in cheating on the crossword puzzle after I get completely stuck
I believe the best way to have a friend is to be one
I believe in carelessness, as long as it is at your own cost
I believe in spending myself down to the dime to travel
I believe it is important to respect all opinions and beliefs
I believe that stacking my 5 lb. hand weights in front of my door will prevent an intruder
I believe the first amendment is an absolute
I believe women should not have to be afraid to walk alone at night
I believe that if you buy a tray of brownies, you might as well eat them all in one sitting, because eventually you're going to eat them all anyway
I believe anyone who finished high school should be able to appropriately use: your, you're, to, two, and too
I believe that you don't need to know a lot about sports to enjoy them
I believe that sleeping out under the stars (sans tent) is really underrated
I believe a fish can keep you company
I believe people need to feel purpose in their jobs
I believe you can often learn more about a person through their writing than you can through conversation

I'm sure I have many more, but I believe I am supposed to try and find something to do for work now. If want to help ease my boredom, you'll post your own list of believe statements, I'm sure I'll get some comedic relief from a few of you.

To all the college educated readers:

2008-03-14T10:50:00.001-07:00

I was going to try to write something a little more thoughtful today than I did yesterday. Then I realized that on my last few thoughtful posts I have hardly gotten any comments, while on my "Muffin Top" post, I got 4 overnight. It has become apparent to me that my readers have some low-brow sense of amusement which I can only attempt to appeal to by making my posts more scatological. Here is my offering to the masses:

THE POOPIE LIST

Bathroom Humor at its finest:

Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie: This happens when you're done Poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Poopie: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker Poopie: The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Lincoln Log Poopie: The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Corn Poopie: Self-explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie: The kind where you want to Poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
Liquid Poopie: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Poopie: It smells so bad your nose burns.
The Surprise Poopie: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a Poopie!!!
The Dangling Poopie: This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

Google Image Fun

2008-03-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

Here's what you get when you google "Muffin Top"

Semi-Relief

2008-03-12T15:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote to WWU's MBA program to check on the status of my application. I got a note back today saying thank goodness I wrote in, because they now realize they lost it. So while that is a minor inconvenience, I feel a lot better now about the long wait time I've had...

MoDo and Political Scandal

2008-03-12T12:13:00.001-07:00

I am full of weird dreams lately. I have taken to writing them down in a journal I keep next to my bed, that is, unless I am too tired to motivate myself to write at 3 a.m. Last night I had three dreams. They were pretty vivid, I can remember them all clearly today. One was that the Director of WWU's MBA program told me I wasn't getting in, but that if I work in Burlington for one more year, maybe they will take me next year (okay so this dream was more like a nightmare). The second dream was a bunch of people trying to tell me that the most satisfying relationships are non-physical, I disagreed and got called a hussy, which is ironic because I don't get that much action (I think this came from a story I heard about a blow job last night). The third was a dream that I was waiting in line at a coffee stand, but when I got to the window they had just run out of coffee... weird. I took it as a sign that I needed coffee this morning, which is exactly what I got :)

Good thing I don't really like the coffee/service at the Hound Dog Coffee stand at the bottom of the hill or I would probably go every day. Today I had to make due with Starbucks. Okay although Starbucks does not have the best coffee, I have to say, Starbucks has the best service by far. I always have a good experience when I go there. They are always peppy and friendly and they never rush you. This morning they gave me a bagel with free cream cheese. I love free. To save this morning I even ordered drip coffee (yes Calvin, drip) but with lots of cream and sugar. Bagel + Drip + Free Cream Cheese = $2.95. Good Service = Priceless.

On a side note, as I was reading the paper today I came across an article by my new fav. columnist Maureen Dowd. I love this line from Dowd's column in reference to ex-Governor Spitzer's wife, Silda, and on the duties of politicians' wives in general:

"In modern times, you rarely see any men having to stand ashenly by their women."

So true MoDo, so true. I have read a few other op-ed pieces commenting on the "wifely duties in politcal scandal" phenomenon. Just like Hillary in the wake of Monica, Suzanne Craig after her husband was caught soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom, and Dina McGreevey after her husband Governor McGreevey of New Jersey resigned upon announcing he was gay and had carried on several extra-marital affairs. It seems strange that the American public expects these wronged spouses to make public appearances which display their solidarity as a family, when in reality, that is far from the truth.

While I agree that couples need to honor their marriage vows and try to make things work, I think that there is also a line. These politicians clearly did not honor their vows, so expecting their wives to make ridiculous gestures of devotion to them at this junction seems terribly unfair. Some might say that the show of support for the wife stands to serve as an example of family values. I say, when you are a political figure who has a wife and three daughters and you are caught soliciting sex in a prostitution ring, it's too little too late for family values. Why is it then the wife's responsibility to be the example?

Call me cruel, but cheating is one thing that should not, in my opinion, be tolerated. Perhaps these couples will try to work things out privately, but in the meantime why the fake show of support? It seems that having the wife stand passively by is a almost a method of condoning what has happened, it's the old 'silence is acceptance' adage. It sucks.

As the Times columnist Foderaro put it, “I think [Spitzer] did enough harm to his wife and children that he didn’t need to take her out there with him. If he was man enough to order a woman as if he were ordering a sandwich off a deli menu, he should have been man enough to go out there and take it on his own.”

Amen Foderaro.

I'm in love with this dog:

2008-03-11T11:00:00.001-07:00

http://www.whatcomhumane.org/php/index.php?adoption_info,1820

I am really going to try and get a dog next year. Unless I live in Seattle, where I'll probably only be able to afford a shoebox.

Plans

2008-03-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

SYP group this morning was useful as usual: we started off talking about video games, moved on to discussing tea fermentation, and then I listened while the other "SYP"s debated the safety of obstetrical ultrasounds and the irresponsibility of women who choose to use an epidural during labor. If you know me at all, you know that during this last conversation I was really having to bite my tongue. Let's face it, the alternative to having an ultrasound done is possibly that the fetus is in danger and no one finds out about it until it's too late. That's why DSHS (through the state) gives pregnant women FREE pre-natal care including regular OB Ultrasound checks; it's that important. Ultrasound is by far the safest form of digital radiology, and no side effects resulting from ultrasonic sound waves have ever been found. I didn't want to even mention that, were it an option, I might want to be knocked unconscious during labor... Screw natural child birth, give me drugs and OB's any day.

This was a great weekend, and I actually really enjoy my Mondays. Perhaps I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but I get to have the office completely to myself on Mondays. This means that when I am bored, I am totally free to read at my desk, wander through the building, or do jumping jacks in my office. I can also job search without being worried that my boss will see...

I am still anxiously awaiting word from Western. I feel pretty certain at this point (80%) that if I don't get into Western this year, I will have to move to Seattle this fall, if not for grad school, than for a year of work where I am actually learning something. My efforts at job searching locally have been pretty fruitless. The job market is not good right now, especially in Bellingham. There are many many things I would miss if I move to Seattle, but at this point in my life, it seems like I am kind of wasting my opportunities if I keep accepting secretarial jobs just so that I can live in Bellingham. I would rather be in Bellingham, but a year of working in Seattle wouldn't kill me I guess. I need to get some good work experience. The boy and I will make long distance work somehow, as he is determined to stay in Bellingham for one more year no matter what. It has been hard for me to get to this point, really really hard, but I am prepared to make a change in my living situation and lifestyle if necessary. Hopefully Walden and my other Seattle friends will still keep me company ;) Hopefully Western will take me and I won't have to make that decision.

It is difficult to make plans for next year without knowing where I will be living. I am certain that I will be moving houses in August no matter what. I can tell that I am becoming a cleaner person. I used to be cluttered and messy to a huge extent. Sars and I used to throw away dishes because mold grew on them. Now things are different. When I come home from a long day of work I want to have clean dishes to make dinner. I want to be able to sit in the living room without having to clear off a spot on the couch. I don't think I am a cleaning nazi, but it has definitely gotten to be a bit of an issue for me and for the roommates. I understand that they don't have the same newfound cleanliness desire that I have. It is difficult though because they get irritated with me for trying to tidy up because "it's their mess." While I appreciate this sentiment, it doesn't really help me. I don't want to have to wait around until the mood strikes one of them to clean up "their mess," and I don't think I should have to. Consequently, I will take the initiative to clean it myself. This usually happens when the house has been ridiculously messy for several days. I rarely spend time downstairs in the living room anymore because it becomes so cluttered and gross. This is a shame as I VERY much enjoy the company of my roommates and think they are wonderful, fun friends.

Fatima told me she is now a clean person living alone, and I think I might enjoy that as well. If I do end up in the ham next year, I might give it a try! I will miss my bedroom in the Bee Hive, it is my favorite one I've ever had. I would also miss long talks and board games with the roommates. Someone once told me it is important to try living alone at least once in your life. I think if there ever were a time for that, this would be it. Of course I would get a pet...

Body Facts

2008-03-07T14:37:00.000-08:00

Something awesome happened today: I spent $30 on gas for that Olympia trip, thinking I would be reimbursed $30. Apparently my company values the "wear and tear" inflicted on my car from the 260 round trip miles. As a result, today I was comped $128 for my mileage. It's basically like $100 free dollars! That's enough to make me excited for the work day! Especially since I was trying to figure out how to justify the cost of mystic tanning and waxing pre-hawaii. Good job corporate office for over-estimating my mileage costs!! (Technically it's good job IRS... but whatever) Did I mention I also am being comped a work day since I spent 12 hours on the job yesterday? One more paid day of vacation. This job may be boring, but some days it really has its perks.

I got into a tiff with the boy yesterday - I don't really feel like rehashing it right now suffice to say that I learned a few things from it. 1. Communication is really really important, as is acknowledgment of the other person's feelings (okay so I already knew that, I was a COMM major). 2. I don't really need to freak out or be a bitch to get attention from the boy, he is good about trying to get things resolved. 3. Actions speak louder than words 4. I have some really great friends, like Walden, who sent me an encouraging message this morning.

Tom and I are both bored in the office today, I can tell. I am not restless bored, just patiently bored, if that's possible. It's a nice change. I never realized that there were so many different types of boredom hahaha.

Off to the gym after work per usual. I have been trying to kick my butt into gear lately so that I can be toned for the beaches in April. It has caused an interesting development. Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon: I feel like the more intensely I commit to working out, the more critical I am of my performance and my body. I feel lots of guilt if I do less than 45 minutes of cardio every day. I feel extra embarrassed that my shoulders and back are STILL sore from doing lateral pull downs three days ago. This seems really vain and stupid, but it is a weird sensation to be so critical of myself, especially when I am working harder than normal.

Maybe that's why there are so many gym addicts out there - the need to achieve "the perfect body" (if there were such a thing) drives people to dissatisfaction even when they already are (relatively) fit. I am beginning to identify with "The Machine" - a workout fiend at my gym who could kick everyone's ass in that room. She seems like she is always pushing it farther and farther, she's in there every single time I visit the gym, maybe she lives there part-time, I'm not sure. Before I just thought she was crazy. Now I find myself thinking, "okay machine, okay, I understand your freakish gym fetish a bit."

It doesn't really follow that a person who never works out would be completely satisfied with themselves either. That would be a rare thing to witness. Maybe everyone is just dissatisfied and overly self-critical. I still blame (as you probably could've guessed) the media for forcing ridiculous and impossible beauty standards on us.

So in the spirit of shoving those ideals, I am going to say, everyone should love love love their bodies as they are. All bodies fit or flab are amazing. Here's why:

- Every fiber, muscle and organ in our bodies work together intricately to keep us alive
- Our bodies store up food for us automatically to help us survive on a barren desert island
- Little microscopic bugs live on the surface of our skin to clean for us. Like little miniature Merry Maids. And we don't even have to pay them.
- The brain sends messages at the rate of 240 mph
- The heart beats about 100,000 times a day
- Most people shed 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime
- The four taste zones on your tongue are bitter (back), sour (back sides), salty (front sides), and sweet (front) - imagine if we couldn't enjoy what we ate!
- The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
- The fastest growing nail is on your middle finger
- The acid in our stomachs is strong enough to dissolve a razor blade
- Our livers have more than 500 functions
- A fetus acquires fingerprints at 3 months

Crazy. Crazy awesome.

Highs and Lows of Downtime

2008-03-05T08:48:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will be spending the day in Olympia, as the entourage/chaperon of our two fifth grade event winners. I am really excited to go down with them, however it is pure luck that I even found out I was supposed to go to Olympia on Thursday because my boss never told me. I found out from the director of the event who called to confirm that I had received my itinerary. "What itinerary?" I said. "Oh, didn't Tom tell you that you are supposed to go down to Olympia tomorrow? I talked to him about it last week!" Umm, no. No I didn't know anything about this. hmm.

I'm just going to say that Tom is in his office right now listening to the Dixie Chicks on high volume.

Now that that's off my chest...

Thanks to Lynn's blog I have spent a lot of time playing on FreeRice.com. It is addictive!! If you haven't tried it, you must. Since I have a lot of down time, I have also gotten to donate a LOT of rice! Here are some other things I appreciate about my down time:
1. I read the NY Times and the Skagit Herald every day and then usually the Seattle P-I too.
2. I get to leave fun comments on everyone's blogs
3. I have plenty of time to google/wikipedia my every passing whim
4. I get to read my book club book
5. Online shopping (not buying, just browsing)
6. Playing with Grouch
7. Studying all the scars on my body and reminiscing about childhood
8. Fiddling with the radio
9. Obsessively check email
10. Scrabbulous

Maureen Dowd makes me smile

2008-03-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

Maureen Dowd: A Wake-Up Call for Hillary

I was your silver lining, but now I'm gold

2008-03-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

and then...

2008-03-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Near my work there is a teriyaki place I love called Apple Teriyaki. I only get to go once every other week (self imposed restriction). The interesting thing is that my $6.00 gets me something different every time. I always order a teriyaki chicken bowl. Some days, I get teriyaki chicken and rice only. Some days the lady brings me the chicken bowl and a really good salad. On very special days I get teriyaki, salad and egg drop soup. Now the question is: are these things special extras and some days she feels generous, or, are they supposed to come with my meal and some days she feels lazy? I'm going to go with generous just because I feel good about getting things free, however, I won't check the menu to find out for certain...

I am beginning to feel nervous about my WWU application. It has been two weeks and I still haven't heard anything. This wouldn't make me nervous if someone else I know hadn't already heard back... That's what I get for getting a 590 on my GMATs and for only getting a 3.1 cumulative GPA. Nothing will make you question your intelligence like a standardized test. (If only they put more weight on my writing score) The thing is, during school I was fine with being a B student, I mean, I think I could've gotten A's, but I was too busy skipping class and having fun. I was too busy hanging out in the front yard with KJW at noon, drinking beer and eating pizza! Hahaha, let's hope I am just wait listed and not rejected.

When I was in high school I turned 18 my senior year, early in the year. I wrote myself notes to get out of school all the time. Since I worked at a radiology center, I often wrote notes that included some complicated sounding ailment I had heard about at work. I found that the more complicated the word, the less questions got asked by the office staff. Here is an example:

"Lindsay will be absent from fifth and sixth periods today because she is experiencing severe right lower quadrant pain associated with ongoing lumbo-sacral sciatica."

This seems a little out-there, now that I look back on it, but at the time it seemed perfectly logical. I can't say that my habit of skipping out on classes (which followed me through college) has gotten me anywhere, but at the same time, if all goes well with grad school apps, I wouldn't regret it at all.

On a different and less worrisome note, I am so excited for Hawaii I am counting down days on my work calender. Lynn and I are going to get mystic tanned and waxed before we leave. I hope I don't end up orange. I am excited to look truly tanned for once though, and bonus, mystic tanning comes without cancer causing UVB rays.

Spring-ish

2008-02-29T09:37:00.001-08:00

I like writing blogs. I like reading blogs, which is why I think some other people should start writing them *ahem*

Last night was the Tulip event that my work hosted. It was pretty fun because I got to interview a bunch of fifth graders. I'm not sure what they are learning right now in school, but if I had to guess I'd say either a section on MLK Jr. or George Washington because, barring a few creative kids, almost every kid answered the question "If you could meet anyone, who would you meet and why?" with one of those two people. Although one girl said she'd like to meet the Jonas Brothers because "she likes the middle one." My favorite answer by far was from one little boy. (It is important to note here that the kids already know that winners get to go to Olympia to meet Governor Gregoire) He said he would like to meet the governor "because he seems like a great guy who is doing a lot of really great things." Good answer to win, if only he know that the governor is a she...

Kids are cute and after that night and the many comment-retellings I've gotten to hear from my teacher friends, I think maybe pre-teens aren't as annoying as I used to think.

Plus I got to keep some very pretty tulips from the event, which are my favorite flowers:

I am very excited for Mt. Baker Baseball games to start. I'm not sure exactly why I enjoy them so much. Obviously it is fun to see the boy out there coaching and doing really well at something he loves, he is pretty freaking adorable out on the field. Actually he doesn't really like feminine adjectives being applied to him, so I'll say he is a strong and impressive MANLY coach ;). But aside from that, there is also just something about going to the game. I think maybe I like getting the chance to go and focus on something else for a while. I sit on the wooden bleachers and cheer and squint at the scoreboard. I love listening to the little boy who announces the game. It is just a really relaxing and fun way to spend the afternoon. It makes me feel really carefree. Last spring it was one of my favorite things to do; grab a coffee head out along Mt. Baker Highway and spend an hour watching these 10th graders play ball.

First game is March 11, so if anyone wants to play hooky with me for the afternoon you are welcome to come along.

One last thing:
Check out this interesting marketing tactic by our presidential candidate Clinton:
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/
2008/02/29/clintons-national-security-ad/index.html?hp

.

Me!

2008-02-26T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hey, it's me, the administrative assistant! What can I do for you today? Would you like me to copy those three pages for you... s'cuse me I need to get to the copier right behind you.

Whew. Now that's done. What now? Filing! You mean you trust me to file those two papers atop the file cabinet?! Sure, I think I can manage, it's pretty tough because they are all filed behind weird letters, but that's what I went to college for!

Now you want me to type something? Great! You are right, I am a fast typer, and I love the challenge of deciphering your scribbled handwriting, I love it! Guess all those journalism classes really paid off. God I'm a fast typer.

Holy shit! It's already 9:00, I only have seven and a half hours of my day left! There is so much to get done. I haven't even gotten in my hour of early morning staring-into-space done. Wait, I have to get in the zone! See that vacant look in my eyes like my brain is actually dying?! That's hard to pull off, it takes weeks of practice! I think I can actually feel my muscles atrophy!!!

Okay, that's over. Now what? Oh yeah, I haven't caught up on every mundane detail of every college acquaintance's life!! Facebook!! Facebook!! Stat!

Now that I know that that one guy I had a group project with freshman year is doing okay over in Arkansas, I guess I can go on with my day. Close call. Whew! This job is STRESSFUL!

Oh my boss is back. How can I help you?! You want me to research Christmas decorations for next year! Good idea, you can't get started too early on Christmas, my God, its already been two months since last Christmas! I will get started on that right now, but I am feeling pretty overworked...

Now, I insist you let me map every phone tree in the whole company, it will take hours of listening to an automated phone system, I freaking LOVE that! Oh, they can't use that information after all? You should have asked corporate if they needed if first? Darn. Oh well, at least I got some great work experience out of that. Not everyone can navigate those phone systems, what about all those geriatrics out there!

Geez, 2:30, this day is flying by!! Time for my afternoon vacant-stare time! And holy crap! I almost forgot to read the blog of every person I know for the second time today!! This job is turning me into a bad friend, but I'll do anything for the company!

Oh good, a memo for me to write and distribute! Thank God because the store managers have only seen me four times this week with those other memos, they are feeling neglected I know it! I don't even mind that it's raining, have you seen these cute open toed flats I've got on? Perfect for a rainy day! Plus, they are looking too shiny anyway. Man, I hate that. Thanks for the chance to break them in!

Hey, sorry that took so long! I had to stop and make sure every merchant on property knew that there are NO NEW CHANGES to announce. They freaking love that!

Hurrah it's five! It's been a long day! Oh, you have something urgent for me to do before I head home? Love to!

Good God I LOVE this song

2008-02-24T23:04:00.000-08:00

I should be doing Grad Apps right now.

2008-02-24T20:06:00.001-08:00

Sunday night. I am sitting at the Woods filling out grad apps and contemplating the future - always interesting/frightening/exciting. My boss still doesn't know I will only be around for another 6 months at most. Grad school or no, the present job will end for me by August, unless I find a great job in B'ham, then it might end sooner. He is a nice boss. He told me in my review he recommended me for a $1/hour raise. I told him I was bored, constantly bored. He said he knows and understands. This makes me like him more and want to stick it out rather than leave. That and the fact that he is letting me take a week off in April to go to Hawaii...

Tomorrow is the start of another work week, but hopefully a more eventful one. In the morning I have the Young Professionals group, Wednesday I'm leading a cross promotional training group for the merchants, and Thursday am helping to MC an event. If at no other point my job gets exciting, at least this week will be getting there!

I think it will be weird to finally know where I will be going to grad school. I am just working on my Seattle U application now. I think the only thing that really bugs me that a pretty big part of my decision making process is the boy. If he doesn't go to WWU this year, or if I don't get in to WWU, I am certain we will end up being in different towns for the next two years at least. Call me selfish but I enjoy being in the same town as the person I am dating, I wonder what it would be like to only see him every other weekend instead of every other day. Strange thought. At the same time, neither of us is thinking anything more serious than dating at this point. Our lives are definitely still independent and it is good to enjoy that and take advantage of every opportunity. I know that the boy feels like it is important to go our own ways (even if that means long separation), to be honest I'm not really sure what he sees in the future for us, but he is right in that you can't give up on your own goals in life.

Honestly, introspective ramblings right now may be heavily influenced by the melancholy music playing at the Woods. I guess I always go through this thought process at least once with every grad app day. Anyone who regularly reads this knows that the future is something I have a hard time with.

I had a conversation with the boy's friend about the future and he and I were on the same page: it doesn't seem like we are adults yet. It doesn't seem real that I am responsible for myself, my bills, my choices. I still make a lot of my decisions based on what will make me happy now (going to Hawaii, for example) rather than what would be best in the long run (saving money perhaps). We all have to grow up sometime, but my subconscious is fighting it with everything I've got.

2008-02-22T10:58:00.001-08:00

I love the New York Times and I love learning about different healthcare systems in the world. In my comm classes in school I often wrote research papers about world healthcare systems and the various types: single payer (governmentally funded, universal), multi-payer (hybrid of government funding and private insurance groups) and purely privatized (our current system, with some government subsidies).

A lot of people think that universal healthcare systems, like the one featured in this article and Canada, are the answer. Truthfully, single payer systems like these fall short as often as ours does. Reasons: lack of competition in the market means poor service and longer wait times for patients, equipment that is not up to par (more than 50 percent of mammogram machines in Canada are not up to the American Cancer Society standards we have in the US) this leads to missed problems and mis-diagnosis which leads to longer treatment times. As you will see in the article, completely universal systems may also limit the care they provide because they are footing the bill.

I don't have an answer to this problem, but I am more in favor of multi-payer hybrid systems. They keep competition in the market place. It is clear the current U.S. system (privatized) doesn't work either, we have more than 40 million Americans without health coverage. The costs for these people in a catastrophe would be astronomical.

Anyway, this is an interesting article, especially for people who don't know a lot about universal healthcare... an important issue in upcoming elections. Check it out:

February 21, 2008
Paying Patients Test British Health Care System
By SARAH LYALL

LONDON — Created 60 years ago as a cornerstone of the British welfare state, the National Health Service is devoted to the principle of free medical care for everyone. But recently it has been wrestling with a problem its founders never anticipated: how to handle patients with complex illnesses who want to pay for parts of their treatment while receiving the rest free from the health service.

Although the government is reluctant to discuss the issue, hopscotching back and forth between private and public care has long been standard here for those who can afford it. But a few recent cases have exposed fundamental contradictions between policy and practice in the system, and tested its founding philosophy to its very limits.

One such case was Debbie Hirst’s. Her breast cancer had metastasized, and the health service would not provide her with Avastin, a drug that is widely used in the United States and Europe to keep such cancers at bay. So, with her oncologist’s support, she decided last year to try to pay the $120,000 cost herself, while continuing with the rest of her publicly financed treatment.

By December, she had raised $20,000 and was preparing to sell her house to raise more. But then the government, which had tacitly allowed such arrangements before, put its foot down. Mrs. Hirst heard the news from her doctor.

“He looked at me and said: ‘I’m so sorry, Debbie. I’ve had my wrists slapped from the people upstairs, and I can no longer offer you that service,’ ” Mrs. Hirst said in an interview.

“I said, ‘Where does that leave me?’ He said, ‘If you pay for Avastin, you’ll have to pay for everything’ ” — in other words, for all her cancer treatment, far more than she could afford.

Officials said that allowing Mrs. Hirst and others like her to pay for extra drugs to supplement government care would violate the philosophy of the health service by giving richer patients an unfair advantage over poorer ones.

Patients “cannot, in one episode of treatment, be treated on the N.H.S. and then allowed, as part of the same episode and the same treatment, to pay money for more drugs,” the health secretary, Alan Johnson, told Parliament.

“That way lies the end of the founding principles of the N.H.S.,” Mr. Johnson said.

But Mrs. Hirst, 57, whose cancer was diagnosed in 1999, went to the news media, and so did other patients in similar situations. And it became clear that theirs were not isolated cases.

In fact, patients, doctors and officials across the health care system widely acknowledge that patients suffering from every imaginable complaint regularly pay for some parts of their treatment while receiving the rest free.

“Of course it’s going on in the N.H.S. all the time, but a lot of it is hidden — it’s not explicit,” said Dr. Paul Charlson, a general practitioner in Yorkshire and a member of Doctors for Reform, a group that is highly critical of the health service. Last year, he was a co-author of a paper laying out examples of how patients with the initiative and the money dip in and out of the system, in effect buying upgrades to their basic free medical care.

“People swap from public to private sector all the time, and they’re topping up for virtually everything,” Dr. Charlson said in an interview. For instance, he said, a patient put on a five-month waiting list to see an orthopedic surgeon may pay $250 for a private consultation, and then switch back to the health service for the actual operation from the same doctor.

“Or they’ll buy an M.R.I. scan because the wait is so long, and then take the results back to the N.H.S.,” Dr. Charlson said.

In his paper, he also wrote about a 46-year-old woman with breast cancer who paid $250 for a second opinion when the health service refused to provide her with one; an elderly man who spent thousands of dollars on a new hearing aid instead of enduring a yearlong wait on the health service; and a 29-year-old woman who, with her doctor’s blessing, bought a three-month supply of Tarceva, a drug to treat pancreatic cancer, for more than $6,000 on the Internet because she could not get it through the N.H.S.

Asked why these were different from cases like Mrs. Hirst’s, a spokeswoman for the health service said no officials were available to comment.

In any case, the rules about private co-payments, as they are called, in cancer care are contradictory and hard to understand, said Nigel Edwards, the director of policy for the N.H.S. Confederation, which represents hospitals and other health care providers. “I’ve had conflicting advice from different lawyers,” he said, “but it does seem like a violation of natural justice to say that either you don’t get the drug you want, or you have to pay for all your treatment.”

Karol Sikora, a professor of cancer medicine at the Imperial College School of Medicine and one of Dr. Charlson’s co-authors, said that co-payments were particularly prevalent in cancer care. Armed with information from the Internet and patients’ networks, cancer patients are increasingly likely to demand, and pay for, cutting-edge drugs that the health service considers too expensive to be cost-effective.

“You have a population that is informed and consumerist about how it behaves about health care information, and an N.H.S. that can no longer afford to pay for everything for everybody,” he said.

Professor Sikora said oncologists were adept at circumventing the system by, for example, referring patients to other doctors who can provide the private medication separately. As wrenching as it can be to administer more sophisticated drugs to some patients than to others, he said, “if you’re a doctor working in the system, you should let your patients have the treatment they want, if they can afford to pay for it.”

In any case, he said, the health service is riddled with inequities. Some drugs are available in some parts of the country but not in others. Waiting lists for treatment vary wildly from place to place. Some regions spend $280 per capita on cancer care, Professor Sikora said, while others spend just $90.

In Mrs. Hirst’s case, the confusion was compounded by the fact that three other patients at her hospital were already doing what she had been forbidden to do — buying extra drugs to supplement their cancer care. The arrangements had “evolved without anyone questioning whether it was right or wrong,” said Laura Mason, a hospital spokeswoman. Because their treatment began before the Health Department explicitly condemned the practice, they have been allowed to continue.

The rules are confusing. “It’s quite a fine line,” Ms. Mason said. “You can’t have a course of N.H.S. and private treatment at the same time on the same appointment — for instance, if a particular drug has to be administered alongside another drug which is N.H.S.-funded.” But, she said, the health service rules seem to allow patients to receive the drugs during separate hospital visits — the N.H.S. drugs during an N.H.S. appointment, the extra drugs during a private appointment.

One of Mrs. Hirst’s troubles came, it seems, because the Avastin she proposed to pay for would have had to be administered at the same time as the drug Taxol, which she was receiving free on the health service. Because of that, she could not schedule separate appointments.

But in a final irony, Mrs. Hirst was told early this month that her cancer had spread and that her condition had deteriorated so much that she could have the Avastin after all — paid for by the health service. In other words, a system that forbade her to buy the medicine earlier was now saying that she was so sick she could have it at public expense.

Mrs. Hirst is pleased, but up to a point. Avastin is not a cure, but a way to extend her life, perhaps only by several months, and she has missed valuable time. “It may be too bloody late,” she said.

“I’m a person who left school at 15 and I’ve worked all my life and I’ve paid into the system, and I’m not going to live long enough to get my old-age pension from this government,” she added.

She also knows that the drug can have grave side effects. “I have campaigned for this drug, and if it goes wrong and kills me, c’est la vie,” she said. But, she said, speaking of the government, “If the drug doesn’t have a fair chance because the cancer has advanced so much, then they should be raked over the coals for it.”

Fun Facts

2008-02-20T09:48:00.000-08:00

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed
to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we
have 'the rule of thumb'

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was called 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden' and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.

Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat
name requested? Obsession.

If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter 'A'? One Thousand.

What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? All were invented by women.

Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.

Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? Father's Day.

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight, sleep tight'

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell atthem 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Yay anonymous commentator!

2008-02-19T14:31:00.000-08:00

To you, anonymous commentator:

Thanks so much for what you said, you really have made my day!! I am not sure if you are really anonymous or an acquaintance of mine, but either way I wanted to say I really appreciated the compliment. If you ever do start that blog be sure to send me the link so I can read up on your "real world" life too. I know it will be great.

Also

2008-02-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

The boy is home from vacation. That makes me happy.

Shopping and stuff

2008-02-19T08:38:00.001-08:00

My poll is showing that people prefer blonde hair (for me anyway) and although I do like being a brunette, I miss my yellow hair. When I dye it back, probably in late April or May, I will go a dark blonde though so it won't look so fade-y and gross after a few weeks.

I am at work. I have been here for about 30 minutes and - surprise! - I have nothing to do as far as I know, for the rest of the day. Blog away friends, I will be reading and commenting. Please entertain me.

Last week I was doing research on my own about teen spending power, since I think teens are an important marketing group. They have no bills or other responsibilities so they have a large disposable income, shopping time is hangout time, and they are the wealthiest generation of teens in years.

(Please note that I do have some qualms about marketing a shopping center to teenagers -- I hate to have anything to do with promoting a feeling of dissatisfaction that can only be cured by shopping. While I don't think that the shopping mall is the producing this dissatisfaction, it is certainly used by people as a cure for a problem that is perpetuated by the media. But until the media stops setting down unrealistic expectations for beauty and superficial cures for unhappiness, people will always find somewhere to shop. So here we are in Burlington.)

Anyway, according to the articles I found on teen spending power, apparently the average teen gets an allowance of $10/day or about $280-$300 per month. Teens spend $170 Billion each year shopping and influence another $400 billion of their parents money. Holy cow.

Shopping has always been a popular past time for teens, I think because they get some freedom from their parents and they get new clothes, etc. I enjoy shopping from time to time, but I don't have the same huge disposable income that teens have. I was pretty blown away by the numbers.

Um Yeah

2008-02-15T12:58:00.001-08:00

I need a fun weekend and a strong drink and that's all I'm going to say.

Will you be my Valentine?

2008-02-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

First of all has anyone seen the google name for today, super cute:

Secondly, like Courtney, I wrote the word "love" on my arm today as part of a challenge from the TWLOHA organization that raises awareness about depression - which is particularly bad around holidays like Valentine's Day. See this article:
Beware of Valentine's Day perils, depression - Valentine's Day 2008

So I am participating, because I think depression is a serious problem, and why shouldn't people express l.o.v.e all year round and not just on this one day?

Oh yeah, and what happened to all those cute little v-day cards we used to get as kids? I bet if we still did that there wouldn't be such a blue feeling surrounding vday because everyone would get one.

Black History

2008-02-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

In celebration of Black history month and awesome public speaking, take a listen to one of the most well-written and well-delivered speeches in history, and a personal favorite. Really, listen to the whole thing, it will make you want to cry.

This week so far

2008-02-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

I am verging on the time I would normally feel PMS, but it isn't making me irritable this time. I read in a magazine that sometimes one ovary makes you have a worse period/hormones than the other one. I think that might be true for me, if it is true, this month should be pretty good because last month I was in crazy-ville with emotions ranging from seething anger to self-loathing. It was pretty gross. Whatever ovary is doing the work this month, good for you Calm Ovy, good for you. If you keep it up, maybe I will talk to God about getting you promoted to be the .75 and that maniac on the other side to cut back to .25. Sound good?

I am pretty jealous that the boy gets to spend a week in Cancun right now. I miss him. It's kind of funny that usually if I didn't talk to him for 24 hours I wouldn't be too abnormally upset, but when I know that he is out of the country on vacation suddenly that seems like a really long time. Weird. Weird.

I am in the process of setting up a blind date, if it works out I would be really excited. My roommates' recent date successes have inspired me. The thing about blind dates is, you have to be pretty brave to put yourself out there, so I will have to see how brave these prospective daters are before I move ahead with plans.

Monday's Skagit Valley Young Professionals went pretty well, everyone sat around and discussed the gang problem in Skagit County (which has a high level of juvenile delinquents) The other "young" professionals (who are all at least 30)pretty much agreed that the problem with today's youth is that they are told they can "be anything" and that there are "no winners and losers." That is also the reason, they said, that most kids fresh out of college are totally unprepared for the working world; new grads just want "30 hours of work a week plus benefits and they want to run the show." I tried not to make it obvious that I was a new graduate. I also tried not to make it obvious that that statement pretty much does sum it up... Have we been given too much in life? I think I have a pretty good work ethic but I also am having a hard time settling down into the 9-5 routine just like they said... what do you think?

TGIF

2008-02-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

Now that I am a working stiff, the phrase "TGIF" has a lot more meaning. Work is always pretty dull but it has reached new levels this week. My job is not horrible, but it is beginning to remind me of the part in office space where the main character talks about his day:

I know I am lucky to be working at a job that will build up my resume and pays decently, but sometimes I think it would be nice to work in a coffee shop or restaurant and hang out with people my own age all day. Will it look bad if I do a job like that through business school or should I try for a part time job that is business related?

On a happier note, on Monday I get to go to a meeting of the Skagit Young Professionals. Woo

Scary Murdoch Files

2008-02-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

F You, Rupert Murdoch, F You and your News Corp too.

You have already taken over Wall Street Journal and Myspace. You have already exploited the FCC's lax media regulations multiple times in order to further consolidate our already constricted media sources. Why do you insist on going for more? Rupert M. you are a parasitic virus assisting in the decay of the fourth estate, it's a disgrace to accuracy and objectivity.

Helping Friends to Work It

2008-02-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

Last night I was Kristin's wing(wo)man. I had forgotten that I said I would go out for Fat Tuesday and wasn't really looking forward to it being that I am 1. Poor, 2. Tired after a long day at work, and 3. Not single and have guilt over flirty men (aka, Kristin's boy's roommates who said I was "cute")

But all that had to be put on the back burner because I'll be damned if I am going to let a little fatigue and insufficient funding stop me from hooking up my friends!

So we went out. Kristin's boy seems nice, albeit a little short. But height can be overlooked in lieu of a sparkling personality. Now, he wasn't that sparkly to me, he was actually pretty shy, but he seems to be sparkly for her and that's what matters.

Here is a synopsis of the night:
We get there, and can't find a table. A drunken 40-something woman and her drunken daughter begin adjusting my shirt and bra straps in the beer line. Still no table. We make awkward small talk with random acquaintances and amble around trying to look cool while scrounging for seating. We find a table finally and sit around with a bunch of empty seats for Kristin's boy and his roommates. They decide to sit somewhere else. This makes Kristin very uneasy and distracted. When they do decide to join us, Kristin's friend Taryn tells me loudly that she doesn't think Kristin should get involved with this guy. I think he overhears. More awkwardness. Beer spills on me. And on and on.

My point being that, although wing(wo)maning is not that fun for me anymore, a good friend does it anyway even through all the awkwardness, small talk and new-relationship neurosis.

I Heart the First Amendment

2008-02-04T15:34:00.000-08:00

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

Check out this awesome case I once learned about in media law:

Anthony Griffin, Lawyer ACLU Defends Klansman
The saga of Anthony Griffin began one day in May 1993 when, as a volunteer lawyer for the ACLU of Texas, he was asked to take on the defense of a grand dragon of the Ku Klux Klan. The Klansman, Michael Lowe, had received a subpoena for the organization's membership records; the state human rights commission sought the records during an inquiry into bombing threats that impeded the integration of a Vidor, Texas, housing project. Lowe risked contempt for refusing to disclose the records and realized he needed legal help. At that point he turned to the ACLU, which recognized an important civil liberties issue in his case and assigned it to the first available volunteer, not realizing that the lawyer next in line was African American.

Anthony Griffin did not hesitate in taking on Lowe's defense, which he pursued with vigor and eloquence, eventually prevailing in the Texas Supreme Court on First Amendment grounds. Not only did he recognize at once the potential importance of membership lists to groups like the NAACP. Even more basically, he felt a special responsibility not to duck the hard or awkward cases; he insisted that such an assignment was "an honor-any time you have an opportunity to defend the Bill of Rights." Griffin added that "If I don't stand up and defend the Klan's right to free speech, my right to free speech will be gone."

When Lowe first arrived at his newly assigned lawyer's office, the issue of race had not entered his mind. He needed a lawyer and could hardly afford to hire one of his own. Moreover, the receptionist in the office at the time was white. As Lowe began to realize, just before Griffin greeted him, that his fate might be in the hands of a person of a different color, it was too late to do anything other than accept what the ACLU had offered. The presumptive dissonance between lawyer and client simply had to yield on this occasion to practical exigency, and the charting of a credible First Amendment defense began at once.

In fact, the case was a compelling one; in countless instances involving groups like the NAACP, membership lists had been legally protected to ensure the associational freedom of those who had joined a "controversial" and "suspect" civil rights organization. While the issue had not arisen in the Klan context since the 1920s, when the Supreme Court had sustained New York's right to compel disclosure of Klan membership rosters and files, it was basically the same First Amendment issue.

Regrettably, not all of Griffin's colleagues and usual allies saw the parallel so clearly. Fellow officers of the Texas NAACP (which Griffin had served for years as general counsel) sharply rebuked him for defending a Klansman and demanded his resignation. Griffin refused to back down, or to relinquish his official NAACP role. The issue bounced between the state and national NAACP offices for some weeks. Both local and national leaders declined to visit or address Griffin personally, or to elaborate their displeasure. Eventually the Texas branch simply announced that Griffin "ha[d] been relieved of his duties because of his decision to represent the Ku Klux Klan in a civil liberties case."

National groups quickly began to recognize Griffin's courage in not only taking on the defense of Michael Lowe in so volatile a case but also his singular persistence despite abundant pressure to trim sails or change course. In the fall of 1993, the Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression conferred upon him its first William J. Brennan, Jr., Award, at a dinner that the Justice himself attended, along with Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and many other prominent Washingtonians. The award was created to recognize singular commitment to the free speech values that Justice Brennan's career had exemplified. Griffin seemed the perfect choice to inaugurate this encomium. On that occasion, Griffin not only explained why he felt so strongly about the correctness of the course he had taken, but also recounted the heavy toll that commitment had taken in both personal and professional terms. It was not only being cashiered by the NAACP that hurt deeply. Relatives, friends, and colleagues, both black and white, had far greater difficulty than he would have expected in accepting the rightness of his position. Such reactions, however, never dissuaded Griffin himself. In fact, he later took on another case, involving a Ku Klux Klan request to "adopt" a stretch of Texas highway. Most recently he has been in the news for successfully pressing in the U.S. Supreme Court a cause not likely to be any more popular in his part of Texas: the elimination of prayer at the start of high school football games. His persistence has been truly heroic, as well as being productive of some very welcome First Amendment law.

Even though the KKK are a bunch of ignorant a'holes, I really admire the way this lawyer stood up for his belief in free speech, even speech directed against him. As Voltaire once said, "I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

Grouch, the Fish

2008-01-31T15:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes out of the corner of my eye I catch my fish Grouch staring at me just like this. It's a little disconcerting as I am quite certain that he is smarter than the average fish. I always wonder what he is thinking. Why do I think Grouch is smarter than your average beta, you ask?
1. He knows that every morning at 9 am I feed him, I know he knows, because every morning when he sees me he stares at me until I notice him. Then when I do notice him, he begins swimming erratically almost like he is having a aquatic seizure, until he gets food. This is not his normal throughout the day behavior.
2. When he gets tired of swimming he takes a rest on top of his plastic plant. I mean a real rest where he completely stops moving. If he weren't still upright, I might think he was dead. This may seem lazy to some uncreative people, really it is amazing he figured out how to take a break from all that water treading he does.
3. I've seen him inscribing his memoirs into the tank rocks, and while he hasn't yet disclosed the title to me, I trust that it will win the Pulitzer.

No Title Necessary

2008-01-29T23:10:00.000-08:00

I am going to start calling this blog "Lindsay's life of self-loathing" because all my behaviors and attitudes in the last month have made me pretty disgusted by me. I really want to make it stop.

This really isn't who I am, it really isn't who I want to be at all. I am self loathing a little bit right now about all the complaining I do on this blog, and think I might give it up while I work on my attitude adjustment.

Also

2008-01-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

This cute boy gave me his letterman's jacket, and even though this isn't the 1950's, I still feel like that is a special thing. Kind of like Winnie in Wonder Years, or Topanga in Boy Meets World. I also get to keep it for an indefinate amount of time. It's basically like we are going steady.