Monday, December 28, 2009
Down with Love!
A guy friend gave me the best compliment of my life yesterday - I keep thinking about it. I'm spending all my time with a guy who should've been married to someone else right now. I spent three years in a relationship that dead-ended after two. What is this romance stuff all about anyway??! How do people even commit to spending their entire lives together?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Top 5 Scariest Encounters with the Homeless of Waikiki
5. The Bus Man - Riding the bus to the grocery store the other day, a tall lanky man in dirty clothes got on the bus. All of us on the bus had seen him as we approached the stop, he was standing with his eyes closed looking pained. As the bus approached he slammed both his hands against the side of it and yelled. I think we were all hoping the driver wouldn't let him on board. He got on the bus, with no notice by the driver, came to stand only five feet away from where myself and an old british couple sat. As the bus wound it's way through waikiki, and got more crowded, the man began to mumble louder and louder until he broke into a low yelling. He told us we were all whores who'd destroyed the dinosaurs and for that he hated every one of us. He said we'd better keep away because he was so mad he could just burst. The more people that crowded the bus, the angrier he got until he got so mad he shoved his way off at a random stop and went yelling down the road.
4. The Hasidic Jew - Used to coming across the occasional crazy at 4:30 in the morning as I walked to work, I didn't think twice about a man I saw a block ahead wearing what looked like a yamaka, his long side-burns and scraggly beard draped far down the front of his dingy white tunic and linen pants. What began to be unnerving was that as I approached, he stood still, facing me, directly in my path. As I got to the crosswalk that would lead me directly to him, a huge grin spread across his face, his eyes locked on mine and he began waving to me. Not an excited wave, but a slow, horror movie, mike-meyers-rises-from-the-dead-again wave. I walked slowly around him, and he rotated as I walked past. He followed me, silently waving, all the rest of the two blocks to work that day.
3. The Crack Head - On my way to work at 4:45 am, I furtively rounded my usual corner only to walk straight into the path of what looked to be a man about my age, sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, shaking. He saw me, and that's when the screaming started. Wordless, high-pitched, blood-curddling, screaming. I tried to walk past as quickly as possible, but his shakes got worse and the screams began to turn into threats. As I scurried past I could hear the sound of feet stomping on the pavement behind me, scared, I began to run. A block ahead, I looked over my shoulder to see that he was still seated, slamming his feet and fists against the ground and snarling as he stared after me. Luckily I was able to follow an early morning jogger to work the rest of the way.
2. Beardy - On my way to meet some roommates at the beach after a long night at work, I waited at the crosswalk sometime around 11 pm. Completely lost in my own thoughts, I didn't notice that a strange man had come to stand unusually close to me on the empty street corner. A low voice said, "Hello darling, how's your night?" Slowly I turned to face the stout man who was leering at me, eyes rolling, logger type beard covered in a white foam. I took a big step away from the man and said, "Fine." He stepped toward me and continued to talk about the chance of meeting me here. As I waited for the light to change he proceeded to tell me that he wondered how my feet tasted and whether or not I would object to him touching me. With the light change, I walked quickly across the street - he followed. I ran. He ran. I leapt into the nearest conveniece store, wild-eyed, panicking, and told the lady at the counter I was being followed! Totally unimpressed by this melodrama, the woman rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork at the desk. I peeked out the door, I saw him waiting. I was in the middle of frantically dialing the numbers of all the people I was supposed to be meeting when he finally walked inside. I froze. He walked up to me, said, "You're fucking insane," and continued on into the store. I went out the front and ran to the beach.
1. The Tranny - One sunny afternoon as Celina and I waited for the bus to our local overpriced mall, we were confronted by a woman in a long blue flowered dress. We'd seen the lady, sitting on the bench and talking nonsensically to herself, and had been unfazed (crazing ranting is not unusual). It wasn't until she approached us moments later as we stood chatting that I began to have concern. Most people including the homeless population in Waikiki understand the boundaries of personal space. This social queue went unnoticed by the tranny, who proceeded to assume a stance much like that of boot camp seargent, within inches of our faces she screamed, stomped her foot and cursed. Nonsensical as the ranting was, I began to cypher out some phrases like, "real woman" and "you can't fix this!" Slowly she reached down and pulled her ankle length dress up around her waist. Horrified as I already was by this woman, the realization that "she" was really a "he" and that "his" naked penis was merely inches from me makes this story the number one most creepy encounter with the homeless of my Waikiki life.
4. The Hasidic Jew - Used to coming across the occasional crazy at 4:30 in the morning as I walked to work, I didn't think twice about a man I saw a block ahead wearing what looked like a yamaka, his long side-burns and scraggly beard draped far down the front of his dingy white tunic and linen pants. What began to be unnerving was that as I approached, he stood still, facing me, directly in my path. As I got to the crosswalk that would lead me directly to him, a huge grin spread across his face, his eyes locked on mine and he began waving to me. Not an excited wave, but a slow, horror movie, mike-meyers-rises-from-the-dead-again wave. I walked slowly around him, and he rotated as I walked past. He followed me, silently waving, all the rest of the two blocks to work that day.
3. The Crack Head - On my way to work at 4:45 am, I furtively rounded my usual corner only to walk straight into the path of what looked to be a man about my age, sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, shaking. He saw me, and that's when the screaming started. Wordless, high-pitched, blood-curddling, screaming. I tried to walk past as quickly as possible, but his shakes got worse and the screams began to turn into threats. As I scurried past I could hear the sound of feet stomping on the pavement behind me, scared, I began to run. A block ahead, I looked over my shoulder to see that he was still seated, slamming his feet and fists against the ground and snarling as he stared after me. Luckily I was able to follow an early morning jogger to work the rest of the way.
2. Beardy - On my way to meet some roommates at the beach after a long night at work, I waited at the crosswalk sometime around 11 pm. Completely lost in my own thoughts, I didn't notice that a strange man had come to stand unusually close to me on the empty street corner. A low voice said, "Hello darling, how's your night?" Slowly I turned to face the stout man who was leering at me, eyes rolling, logger type beard covered in a white foam. I took a big step away from the man and said, "Fine." He stepped toward me and continued to talk about the chance of meeting me here. As I waited for the light to change he proceeded to tell me that he wondered how my feet tasted and whether or not I would object to him touching me. With the light change, I walked quickly across the street - he followed. I ran. He ran. I leapt into the nearest conveniece store, wild-eyed, panicking, and told the lady at the counter I was being followed! Totally unimpressed by this melodrama, the woman rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork at the desk. I peeked out the door, I saw him waiting. I was in the middle of frantically dialing the numbers of all the people I was supposed to be meeting when he finally walked inside. I froze. He walked up to me, said, "You're fucking insane," and continued on into the store. I went out the front and ran to the beach.
1. The Tranny - One sunny afternoon as Celina and I waited for the bus to our local overpriced mall, we were confronted by a woman in a long blue flowered dress. We'd seen the lady, sitting on the bench and talking nonsensically to herself, and had been unfazed (crazing ranting is not unusual). It wasn't until she approached us moments later as we stood chatting that I began to have concern. Most people including the homeless population in Waikiki understand the boundaries of personal space. This social queue went unnoticed by the tranny, who proceeded to assume a stance much like that of boot camp seargent, within inches of our faces she screamed, stomped her foot and cursed. Nonsensical as the ranting was, I began to cypher out some phrases like, "real woman" and "you can't fix this!" Slowly she reached down and pulled her ankle length dress up around her waist. Horrified as I already was by this woman, the realization that "she" was really a "he" and that "his" naked penis was merely inches from me makes this story the number one most creepy encounter with the homeless of my Waikiki life.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Let's Have a Poem Shall We
Someone got me started thinking about poetry today. Here's one I've always liked:
Alone
By Edgar Allen Poe
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Alone
By Edgar Allen Poe
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Clap Three Times
Our newest roommate Ashley arrived last Wednesday and it has been a great addition to the crew out here! On Friday night Ashley and I met up with some of my SBC coworkers at Hula Grill for Kava Tea Night. Kava is a traditional polynesian drink that was customarily consumed by Hawaiian royalty. It has mild sedative effects:
Pharmacodynamics
Effects of kavalactones include mild sedation, a slight numbing of the gums and mouth, and vivid dreams. Kava has been reported to improve cognitive performance and promote a cheerful mood. [6] Muscle relaxant, anaesthetic, anticonvulsive and anxiolytic effects are thought to result from direct interactions of kavalactones with voltage-gated ion channels. [7] Research currently suggests that kavalactones potentiate GABAA activity but do not alter levels of dopamine and serotonin in the CNS. [8] Heavy, long-term kava use does not cause any reduction of ability in saccade and cognitive tests but is associated with elevated liver enzymes. [9]
Desmethoxyyangonin, one of the six major kavalactones, is a reversible MAO-B inhibitor (Ki 280 nM)[10] and is able to increase dopamine levels in the nucleus accumbens. This finding might correspond to the slightly euphoric action of kava.[11
To drink Kava, which is a cold brewed tea, you first clap once, drink the entire cup immediately and then clap three times when finished. There was a great singer at the Hula and I took a video of him singing IZ's "Over the Rainbow" but I can't figure out how to load it onto here...Thursday, October 9, 2008
I have neglected this blog
I kept meaning to write in here but something always distracts me. That, and the fact that we all have to fight for internet time with our one plug in. Living in Waikiki has been a great experience so far, and I am finally beginning to adjust to the constant and almost oppressive heat (poor me). I have been working at Seattle's Best Coffee and am really liking it, the only trouble is the money: it doesn't pay as well as Cruisin and I am living in an expensive city, so I may have to look around for something a little more lucrative, and by that I mean something that pays more than $11 an hour.
I am very excited for people to come visit! I would even be excited if some people called me back (you all know who you are) because we don't have that many friends out here yet...
Last week C and I went to North Shore, a little town called Haleiwa (pronounced Hala - eva) which is reputed to have some of the best surfing in the world and the best sno-cones. We found it is a little difficult to eat them before they melt though... as for surfing, well I haven't tried it yet. Maybe when people come to visit.
What else is there to do besides lay on the beach? I spend a lot of time relaxing, playing yahtzee, reading, and doing crossword puzzles. I know that sounds grandma-ish, but it's fun! We have found some of the best drink specials in Waikiki and, my personal favorite, the best dessert in town. Did I mention you all should come visit?!
I am very excited for people to come visit! I would even be excited if some people called me back (you all know who you are) because we don't have that many friends out here yet...
Last week C and I went to North Shore, a little town called Haleiwa (pronounced Hala - eva) which is reputed to have some of the best surfing in the world and the best sno-cones. We found it is a little difficult to eat them before they melt though... as for surfing, well I haven't tried it yet. Maybe when people come to visit.
What else is there to do besides lay on the beach? I spend a lot of time relaxing, playing yahtzee, reading, and doing crossword puzzles. I know that sounds grandma-ish, but it's fun! We have found some of the best drink specials in Waikiki and, my personal favorite, the best dessert in town. Did I mention you all should come visit?!
KJ(Not Dub)
I have spent the better part of thirty minutes surfing through one of my favorite sites (dictionary.com) in hopes of finding the perfect adjective with which to describe my Waikiki building manager KJ when we complain to his boss. Here are a few that I thought were appropriate:
Petulant: moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, esp. over some trifling annoyance
Curmundgeonly: brusque and surly and forbidding; "crusty remarks"; "a crusty old man"
Imperious: domineering in a haughty manner; dictatorial; overbearing
Thank you dictionary.com. Let me tell you a few anecdotes to help you understand:
1) I am minding my own business in the elevator when KJ boards. He turns to me and says, "You know, the pool guy had to clean up your mess today." "What mess?" I reply. "You know. All those cigarette butts you and your friends have been dropping from your lanai. Are you all about through with that?" Wanting to clear this up quickly I say, "Umm, KJ, my roommates and I don't smoke, none of us do..." "Sure," he quips back, "None of you would do that. Just keep in mind that someone ELSE has to pick up these things" Sensing his obvious disbelief in my innocence, I scramble to defend my reputation and find myself saying, "KJ, three of the four of us have severe asthma, we definitely would not smoke in in our apartment!" As unbelievable a lie as it is, KJ seems relieved, "Oh you do? Good. I'm glad to hear that."
2) Harrison leaves his keys in the elevator. It may be important to note here that you cannot go up or down in the elevator without keys, meaning that Harrison spent the weekend waiting outside the building for someone else to let him up, and was unable to go down in the elevator without one of us going too. Keys are extra important here. After searching for them over the weekend to no avail, Harrison visits KJ's office Monday afternoon to ask if anyone has turned them in. He tells KJ that his keys are on a key ring with a bright orange flip-flop key chain (a gift from our landlord) so they are hard to miss. KJ says he hasn't seen them, but that he does have the mail key our landlord sent him for us. As he opens his top desk drawer to retrieve the mail key, Harrison spies a bright orange flip-flop. "Hey!! That's my key!" KJ, caught, hands Harrison the missing keys on the flip-flop key ring saying, "Yeah, someone turned them in Friday, I just wanted to teach you a lesson." Let me also note here that KJ lives in the building and could have returned them over the weekend, and that at least once a week there is a note in the elevator from some tenant who left his or her keys in the elevator lock. Why does KJ pick on us? I don't know, these are a few small examples of our encounters with KJ.
Petulant: moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, esp. over some trifling annoyance
Curmundgeonly: brusque and surly and forbidding; "crusty remarks"; "a crusty old man"
Imperious: domineering in a haughty manner; dictatorial; overbearing
Thank you dictionary.com. Let me tell you a few anecdotes to help you understand:
1) I am minding my own business in the elevator when KJ boards. He turns to me and says, "You know, the pool guy had to clean up your mess today." "What mess?" I reply. "You know. All those cigarette butts you and your friends have been dropping from your lanai. Are you all about through with that?" Wanting to clear this up quickly I say, "Umm, KJ, my roommates and I don't smoke, none of us do..." "Sure," he quips back, "None of you would do that. Just keep in mind that someone ELSE has to pick up these things" Sensing his obvious disbelief in my innocence, I scramble to defend my reputation and find myself saying, "KJ, three of the four of us have severe asthma, we definitely would not smoke in in our apartment!" As unbelievable a lie as it is, KJ seems relieved, "Oh you do? Good. I'm glad to hear that."
2) Harrison leaves his keys in the elevator. It may be important to note here that you cannot go up or down in the elevator without keys, meaning that Harrison spent the weekend waiting outside the building for someone else to let him up, and was unable to go down in the elevator without one of us going too. Keys are extra important here. After searching for them over the weekend to no avail, Harrison visits KJ's office Monday afternoon to ask if anyone has turned them in. He tells KJ that his keys are on a key ring with a bright orange flip-flop key chain (a gift from our landlord) so they are hard to miss. KJ says he hasn't seen them, but that he does have the mail key our landlord sent him for us. As he opens his top desk drawer to retrieve the mail key, Harrison spies a bright orange flip-flop. "Hey!! That's my key!" KJ, caught, hands Harrison the missing keys on the flip-flop key ring saying, "Yeah, someone turned them in Friday, I just wanted to teach you a lesson." Let me also note here that KJ lives in the building and could have returned them over the weekend, and that at least once a week there is a note in the elevator from some tenant who left his or her keys in the elevator lock. Why does KJ pick on us? I don't know, these are a few small examples of our encounters with KJ.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Waikiki
Okay okay, finally a new post (finally internet). Have been in Hawaii for about three weeks or so, and so far, it's great! Obviously I miss a few bham things: my family, the better lovers, the beav, and yes, even the rain. My translucent skin and I are still trying to adjust to the constant sunshine and 80 degree weather. So far we haven't ventured too far outside of Waikiki, but Celina and I did visit a nice quiet beach the other day called "Sandy Beach," creative eh? It is also known as break-neck beach because the waves break so hard on the shore that if you get caught up in them you can literally break yourself. Don't worry, I already experienced the unseen wave and my subsequent underwater tumble through the sand onto shore. When I got home not only was there sand in my bottoms, but I found a rock the size of marble had also made it in there somehow. Don't ask me how I didn't notice that until I got home. I think I was too water logged and confused from my wave ass-kicking.
I want to learn to surf. I told a few people this (ahem, Sarah) and shortly thereafter received a wall post linking me to an article about "Surfer's Myelopathy: first time surfer's go paralyzed in Hawaii" Thanks.
I got a job as a barista for Seattle's best. I like the girls who work there a lot and the location (across the street from Waikiki Beach) but tips haven't been as good as they were at Cruisin'... I am told this is normal for coffee houses as opposed to coffee stands. Hopefully I can support myself on what I am making so that I don't have to get a second job. Milk out here costs $8, and I like milk.
I also am dependent on public transportation out here. It's quite an experience since I have never had a bus pass and very rarely ever took a bus in Bellingham. I find it's a pretty great spot for people watching. Today I saw a very old lady fall asleep on the bus, and I thought maybe she had died. I started to get pretty worried but she woke up after the bus came to a sudden halt. I wondered what buses do in case of on-board emergencies. Does the whole bus detour to the hospital or do they pull over and wait for an ambulance? I also saw two Germans in wacky outfits and a cute curly haired kid who liked to read out the names of all the stores we passed. People on the bus often smell, and it is difficult to go grocery shopping without a car, but other than that I really like it.
Well, there is a really nice sunset going on that I can see from the Lanai, so I am going to wrap this up by saying, our condo has plenty of couch and floor space, so come visit!
I want to learn to surf. I told a few people this (ahem, Sarah) and shortly thereafter received a wall post linking me to an article about "Surfer's Myelopathy: first time surfer's go paralyzed in Hawaii" Thanks.
I got a job as a barista for Seattle's best. I like the girls who work there a lot and the location (across the street from Waikiki Beach) but tips haven't been as good as they were at Cruisin'... I am told this is normal for coffee houses as opposed to coffee stands. Hopefully I can support myself on what I am making so that I don't have to get a second job. Milk out here costs $8, and I like milk.
I also am dependent on public transportation out here. It's quite an experience since I have never had a bus pass and very rarely ever took a bus in Bellingham. I find it's a pretty great spot for people watching. Today I saw a very old lady fall asleep on the bus, and I thought maybe she had died. I started to get pretty worried but she woke up after the bus came to a sudden halt. I wondered what buses do in case of on-board emergencies. Does the whole bus detour to the hospital or do they pull over and wait for an ambulance? I also saw two Germans in wacky outfits and a cute curly haired kid who liked to read out the names of all the stores we passed. People on the bus often smell, and it is difficult to go grocery shopping without a car, but other than that I really like it.
Well, there is a really nice sunset going on that I can see from the Lanai, so I am going to wrap this up by saying, our condo has plenty of couch and floor space, so come visit!
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