Sunday, January 13, 2008

Business School?

I have officially been a brunette for four days now.... I like it, I just have to get used to the new mirror reflection - I keep having little double takes with myself whenever I pass reflective surfaces. The hairstylist did a good job though and I'm having fun with it.

It's been a PMS weekend for sure. Don't know what my problem is but I have felt super moody for the last few days. Could be a combo of PMS, stress about grad applications combined with the fact that I was disappointed about my GMAT scores. On Friday I almost cried at work because I couldn't figure out why my petty cash wasn't reconciling.... really. And that got me thinking - what if business school isn't right for me, and if it isn't, what the hell am I doing?! I sucked at math on the GMAT, I sucked at balancing the checking account for work and I just feel really really incompetent this week. I have taken it out a lot on the boy which is unfair, as usual, and just makes me feel like a bitch. It gets difficult for me to joke along with him or with anyone when I am feeling grumpy. At this point I just want calm, a serious conversation, someone to reassure me; not someone to poke fun at me for small things or make faces at me or hit me in the face with their scarf. I hate having to constantly say "please don't." I wish people would sometimes know when to stop.

I also know that I can't expect the boy or my roommates or my other friends to read my mind. I forget that too often. I also think I am just more irritable than other people when my life gets confusing - which seems to be frequently in the last year or so. Obviously, since I complain about this in almost every blog. Ha.

The boy once told me that he was "waiting for the other shoe to drop" and now every time I get snappy with him I wonder if he's thinking, "yup, she's just as crazy as all girls." It would defininately be well deserved.

Anyway, off to Christmas dinner with the roommates. We couldn't do it before Christmas, so now seems like a good a time as any. I am pretty excited for some good food and a "Bellingham Blonde" ale, even though it's not as fitting for me anymore...

1 comment:

Kelly Jean Walden said...

Hey, if the other shoe did, in fact, drop, at least you know that your boyfriend was boy-stupid all along, while you were NOT girl-crazy for over a year.

F our moods. I've been in one these last few days, too.

Finally, here is some advice from my friend, Sarah Butterfly: Everything will be OK. (I also like the more extensive version, "In the end, it will be OK. If it's not OK, it's not the end." I'm not sure if I always believe this one, though.)